Trouble with stopping
I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. I worked full time, night crew at a local grocery store my senior year and somehow managed to graduate. I went to college on my own dime and, miraculously, left after 2 years with 3.78 GPA. I had $1800 left and I used it to grade school for HVAC. I knew immediately that this was my calling.
From age 21 to 62 I worked in the this great in many different variations; HVAC serviceman and installer, union tinner, and after reading one of Dan’s books in the mid to late 90’s, hydronic heating became my life. Near the end, I wrote for PHC News for 4 years, and also began doing strictly hydronic designs for people all across the States and handful in Canada.
While this going on the last year or two, I got the diagnosis nobody wants to get. I retired, was approved for disability and rightfully so. I’m sick. I’m 66 years old. So what! The only thing that stops me is if I can’t get off the floor after a fall.
In the meantime, I’ve down everything to our home one can do; remodeled bathrooms and kitchen, two new forced air sytems, a heat pump mini-split for my shop, and on and on. My last two projects have been the water service upgrades and the water filtration system. And now, I’m completing the second heating system in our home. That’s it. I’m done. Now what?
My intent was to go back to college and get my Bachelor's Degree in Eng/Lit. I canned that because I would need to take a full course load for two years to achieve my goal and that’s just not being realistic.
Most people would say relax, enjoy your kids and your grandkids, take care of yourself with the time you have, and enjoy your hobbies of woodworking, writing, reading, listening to music, or watching my Chicago sports teams. Blah, blah, blah.
My kids and grandkids live 1700 miles away and their whole families will be here at the end of the month for a full week. That, is going to be special I feel it in every ounce of my being.
When it’s time for them to go, I’ll read books and I’ll listen to music every waking hour like always. Maybe do some small woodworking projects, but there’s nothing that blows the tiny hairs on my bald head back like doing the hydronic and piping work I’ve been doing the last 3 weeks. It’s been a natural high of adrenaline rush coupled with endorphins overload and I don’t want to let go of that.
Sooo, I reached out to a company I once worked for and was highly regarded, another that was my favorite supply house who within the last 8 years tried to bring on board to run their heating department, and yet another that I have had a good relationship with for 40 years. I was asking for nothing, literally. No insurance, no benefits, no pay requirements, asking for only 10-15 per week, doing whatever they required me to do as long as it involved the world of hydronic heating. The responses were definitive answers of no on all three.
That point in your life where you want to continue doing the job you love, but you honestly can’t offer what you once were very capable of, and there’s zero interest hits different.
My wife is an APRN in women’s health and has been carrying the load. I just wanted to help out a bit more. I was born to work. It’s what I do. Even with advanced Multiple System Atrophy, I still feel the need for the speed I get when creating.
How have you older guys like me handled it? Is there a point where you just surrender to it? Have you found something to replace it? Any depressive issues as result of the loss? Sit back and just relax has never been in my comfort zone. I’m already in therapy for it at Cleveland Clinic where my neurologists are.
So far, throughout this journey, I’ve been relatively good at accepting and adjusting to what comes next. The last “no” came today and I have chip on my shoulder the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. A while back, Dan suggested I write 1500 words a day. I’m up to about 60 or 70,000 at this point. There’s nothing cohesive about it, but with a lot of hard work I may be able to make something of it. Maybe a fictional account of this troubled kid who is 72% Irish and grew up on south side of Chicago who punch his kindergarten teacher on the first day of school. And then, cut school the second day until his mom found him hiding in a nearby alley after the school called with information of this truant child. I don’t know? I’m just spitballing here for something to occupy a brain and body that doesn’t want to stop.
Comments
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I've still got about 25-30 years to go before I'm in your shoes, but a long time ago I was the super for a retirement complex so I knew and worked with a lot of folks in your stage of life.
Most important thing hands down: you have to keep moving and thinking as much as you can.
The folks that just sat around and watched daytime television would very quickly decline. The folks that kept as physically active as they could and did things that took brainpower stayed with it until the body finally said "no more".
A big change like requirement is hard, because so much changes so fast. I have an acquaintance around your age who has retired 3 times so far, but just like you he gets antsy and within a year finds a new job. and that's after beating bladder cancer a couple years back!
As far as what should you do, you'll have to find the answers that fit for you, but If you keep looking I'm sure you'll find something. Are there any local tech schools you can volunteer at? That way you're active with the trades. After all, being an old-timer you know all the best tips and tricks. But also don't be shy on searching out other activities too.
Definitely also seek out other retirees and find out what activities they do that you can potentially join in. I knew a group of old timers that would meet up for breakfast and shooting the breeze at a local diner twice a week. If you're not super rural, I can guarantee that there are groups of retirees around you that do things like go for group walks, play cards, and other such low impact, but active things. If you're religious at all, that's also another great way to stay connected and active with people.
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Have you tried Knitting?
Edward Young Retired
After you make that expensive repair and you still have the same problem, What will you check next?
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I certainly feel your pain. I am the same way. Just turned 73. Retired 7 years. Bad disks in neck that cause sever migraines from time to time (bad enough that all I can do is sit in the house) and a few other issues.
If I could work, I would still be working.
My father was a workaholic died at 56
Then I worked at a restaurant while in school for another workaholic. Got out of school and started with an oil company. My boss was 65 and I was 21 and he could waste me.
So I caught the disease of too much work. Life never had a balance for me. The sea saw tilted towards work all the time.
Just recently I had a good stretch. Starting last January, I fixed up a rental property my nephew owns. A little carpentry, some plumbing and boiler work but mostly an 85% complete rewire. I was working 6, 8, 10 hours some days. I haven't worked like that in over 7 years. The electrical just passed inspection last week.
I worried about getting involved with it in case I crapped out halfway through, but I managed it somehow. Spent days going up and down stairs fishing wire from the basement to the second floor. 23 light fixtures, 9 smoke-smoke/carbon monoxide detectors, 43 receptacles. I was in every junction, light, switch and receptacle box in the house. All tamper proof receptacles and AFCI/GFCI where required. No opening walls all fished. My wire fishing skills and plaster patching skills improved greatly. LOL
Depression and anxiety I am always fighting and nothing really helps………except a meter, screwdriver and a wrench!!!!!!!😊😊😊😊 Sold a lot of my tools but still have too many. If I walk through Lowe's, HD or a hardware store I have to keep my hands in my pocket or I will buy some tools.
So right now I am back in a bad stretch but it will pass.
Too late to change now, it's the way i am wired.
I am sure there is a company in your area that would love to have your expertise. The thought of turning 80 in 7 years is not comfortable…..if I even make it that far.
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Maybe try that "tech support" idea with some of the rep firms. Most are still private family business, not tied to the corporate system like many wholesalers are.
Close to you Western Nevada Supply has a good hydronics team and also a rep division, Reno headquarters.
The Caleffi rep group is great, find all their contacts on the website and reach out.
PM or call me anytime if I can help in your quest
Bob "hot rod" Rohr
trainer for Caleffi NA
Living the hydronic dream
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That’s a great idea. I once worked Tech Support for 5 years, thrived at it. Today, it’s not possible. The answers are there. It just takes me a lot longer to retrieve them. And then there’s the talking part of it. I do ok for about 30 minutes and then it devolves into incomprehensible mush. I would also be completely winded after 30 minutes and the longer it goes, the quicker my brain starts to shut down. MSA literally attacks your brain cells. Honestly, I’m not a good fit anywhere except for writing. I’m thinking of a fictional character and I have a vivid imagination so I’d have a lot of fun with that even it doesn’t lead to anything.
Steve Minnich0 -
Sounds like you need to write a hydronic based mystery novel for us all to read and enjoy!
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Steve, I do like the idea of writing! You have the best readers for your work right here. Many authors as well, who I'm positive would like to help you publish or get published. I'm glad to help. You've got great information that can help this world, so… what's the working title for your book? 😇
Yours, Larry
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I'm watching this thread closely. I get asked when will I retire at least once a week. I'm a reasonably healthy 62. I don't even know how to retire. Or, what I will do with my time when I do retire. I know the statistics say that I will retire soon because of health issues, a loved one's health issues or the economy will tank and I'll be laid off-permanently.
Only a precious few people in the trades make it to 67+. Yesterday, I attended a retirement party for a guy 8 years younger than me and the question came fast and furiously. I had two answers. Either: I don't have plans. I am fortunate to like what I do. I have seen with my own eyes that when we make plans, God laughs. Or: My career is like taking a dump. When I'm done, I'm done. But the right answer is, I am lucky that I love what I do and I have a lot of vacation time. So retirement is a ways off barring health issues.
@Steve Minnich I'm sorry you have MSA. I looked it up and it sounds awful.
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I was thinking of a the title of a great Marvin Gaye song - Trouble Man 😂
Steve Minnich
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Thanks Greg. Great insight. It isn’t so bad if you stay in the moment and just keep accepting, adjusting, and fighting.
Steve Minnich1 -
@Steve Minnich I like that @DanHolohan encouraged you to write. I remember reading your stuff. Hope you will keep at that. You surely have a gift. It's one of many.
This year, the world and work have surely caught up with me. With the weekly doctor's appointments and health interruptions. My ills are work-related, repetitive motion ailments. So some mornings it's tough to get motivated. The sheets in the morning can be a little heavy at times. But I have discovered in my semi-retired way that I, too, have to keep moving. Some days are better than others, but most of the time, the clients I interact with are very satisfied with the results. This is what helps to keep me going. It's motivating.
Something else that keeps me going is the fact that many close to me died during COVID-19. It reminded me that life is short. So I keep going, doing the best that I can.
I think pursuing those interests is excellent. Just keeping at it is the key.
Oh and one more thing…Go Whalers? Uh no…Hurricanes…a boy can dream.
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I certainly agree with what @Intplm. posted about keeping moving. It does help. The job I just did for my nephew was mostly fun then not so much as time went on.
After 7 years of not doing a lot, I was surprised at what I was able to do. I actually had many weeks of feeling like I was 40 again…..well maybe 50. But that didn't last. I was pretty slow most of the time. I never considered myself fast but now there is no doubt no one could afford to hire me now my production was pretty slow LOL😊😊
I worked till I was 65 1/2. Then the bad headaches started. Looking back I know the reason. Me and a Co-worker replaced a 23 Section Burnham V11 so that is 10,000lbs of cast iron to move x 2 because we removed the old boiler with a two-wheel hand truck and chain fall to get them up and down the stairs. When that job was done I was feeling a bit off and didn't know why.
So we went to the next job and replaced a Smith #28 that was maybe 10 sections and I had to quit in the middle of the job. Headaches made me dizzy and wobbly, so I was done. I have since wished I would have retired at 62 but I was doing fine at the time and I was always worried about having enough $$$
So I can't advise anyone on what to do approaching retirement as none of us has a crystal ball.
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Okay, We have a title. "Trouble Man". Now for a subtitle … Learning how to stay in the moment, and just keep accepting, adjusting, and fighting 📖 🤠
Yours, Larry
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Never going to quit but it does mess with your brain a lot LOL😊😊😊😊
Got a niece who needs a new furnace and an AC replacement.
Could be my next job🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have done some Sheetmetal but I have to include some $$$$$ for band Aids in the quote LOL
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given enough patience and planning you can make almost anything with a hand seamer…
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Sold my nibblers a couple of years ago but Malco make a cheap attachment for a drill about $70. I got plenty of snips, hand seamer couple of bar folders or I can just do it the easy way and measure it and have a shop fab it. Depends how hard or easy it is.
If I even do it.
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I had a complete sheet metal fabrication shop until the day I retired, even though 90% of my work was Hydronics. I never had any automated machinery but there was an 8’ brake, 4’ brake, 4’ box and pan brake, jump shear, Pittsburgh machine, bar folder (my favorite), various rollers for round fittings, snap lock machine, etc.
It’s funny. I have no use for any of that now, and that includes all the piping machinery I had, but I’d love to have it all back. I could teach my grandkids the trades before they reached high school
,
Steve Minnich0 -
I wish there was something between 4 very fiddly bends and a huge 20k machine to make a pittsburgh
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Me too, I'll be 67 next month. @Steve Minnich , we're pulling for you.
Baltimore, MD, USA
Steam, Vapor & Hot-Water Heating Specialists
Oil & Gas Burner Service
Consulting
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Some have no issue retiring. Some have all kinds of issues.
All union guys carry a pair of Channellock's. One of my buddy's coworkers retired and on his last day he was at the shop he took his pliers out back and cut them in half and threw them in the woods on his way out the door.
My friend that also retired from the union 2 years ago also had no issue since retiring although he told me he has to keep busy, got rid of most of his pipe fitting tools and has taken up woodworking
Another coworker he must be 68 by now and could have retired 2 years ago. He had a minor stroke 10 years ago and a heart attack maybe 3-4 years after that and is still working.
My Brother will turn 70 in September and just retired from his power plant job in May. He has also worked part time in a hospital boiler room for 20 years.
10 years ago I asked him when he was going to give up the part-time job and he said, "when the girls are out of college" The girls are both around 30 and he hasn't quit yet.
I think he has work withdrawal from leaving the power plant so now he is at the hospital job all the time.
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THE END IS COMING SOON is what I hear from the loudspeaker between my ears. Turning 75 in October and I have no plans to quit. Just maybe longer vacations.
8.33 lbs./gal. x 60 min./hr. x 20°ΔT = 10,000 BTU's/hour
Two btu per sq ft for degree difference for a slab
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It seems to me it's not the trouble with stopping or not stopping, it's knowing when to stop.
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Hi, To me, when I become unsafe on the job, or am mentally unable to put it all together is the time to step back. As long as the brain works, I'll figure out how to physically get the work done. And it does feel good to be able to help people! 😊
Yours, Larry
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I don’t disagree with that, but it’s much harder when it’s not your decision or you simply don’t want to. I’m fairly confident I could still do high end designs, but the legal exposure would make that a very poor choice when I have something that has a profound adverse effect on cognition on certain days and I never know when those days will be. Maybe today is one of them? That was one helluva run on sentence. 😂
Steve Minnich1 -
Even though I still like working I have good and bad days. That keeps me from working much even if I can because I don't want to start a job and not be able to finish it. Don't want to leave someone in the lurch or have to find someone to clean up my mess so to speak.
I was lucky with the recent job I did. Vacant house my nephew owns so I had time, and he knows how I am and I had a few months in a row where things were good.
He owns a few properties so if he has something for me to do and I can that's good enough. Plus a couple of other relatives.
More like a hobby than anything else.
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maybe one off consulting stuff for people's weird problems so it isn't a big project commitment that you won't be able to complete if you aren't feeling up to it for a while? i know that is sort of hard to do because you have to cover the cost of your insurance and possibly licenses depending on who does the actual work. I'd rather have the person that has the right answer but is a bit unpredictable than a parade of people that show up on time but can't fix it(and even those people can be pretty unpredictable because they make a schedule with educated guesses about how long each job will take). If you don't have to make a living off it you have a lot more choice in what jobs you take. Maybe a facebook marketplace or craigslist ad or hang around some of the more local forums. Lots of people here who would have someone come over and take a look instead of figuring it out themselves if there were someone local.
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Yeah,
We could form a "retired guys union"
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Count me me in. Are the younger guys paying our fees?
Steve Minnich0 -
Isn’t HeatingHelp pretty much a retired guys union😏
Bob "hot rod" Rohr
trainer for Caleffi NA
Living the hydronic dream5 -
That's the way it is in the union I was in you retire and still pay dues until your 70 then you're home free.
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Do they automatically take the due out of your retirement check?
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I answer to a higher power, my wife, Barb. She sees my memory lapses on a daily basis and isn’t willing to take the risk. There are some things that I never draw a blank on though. Working with the tools, all tools. Electrical work - just installed a 50 amp subpanel in my shop, #6 THHN wire, 12’ run with 3/4” EMT, 2 hots, 1 neutral, and a ground to a separate buss. Hydronic service, installations, and design. I lived, ate, drank, and endlessly studied my craft for decades. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with an answer to a challenge. I did some soldering recently for the first time in 6 years; clean as a whistle and bullet proof. I can pipe and draw schematics with barely a thought. Woodworking projects are second nature. I haven’t done sheet metal work in decades, but give me an hour two and I could make anything you want.
Where I get in deep over my head is in verbal conversations. The words and responses are there, it just takes longer to retrieve them and use my preferred wording.
I don’t remember movies or TV series and have a helluva time following them.
Often times, I don’t remember what I did the previous day until I go out into my shop and see the tangible results.
I forget important dates, doctor’s appointments, things my wife has told me over and over again. She’s extremely patient with me.
In a nutshell, I remember vividly the things I’ve learned in the past but couldn’t tell you what I ate for dinner last night if my life depended on it.Steve Minnich0 -
"I don’t remember movies or TV series and have a helluva time following them.
Often times, I don’t remember what I did the previous day until I go out into my shop and see the tangible results.
I forget important dates, doctor’s appointments, things my wife has told me over and over again. She’s extremely patient with me.
In a nutshell, I remember vividly the things I’ve learned in the past but couldn’t tell you what I ate for dinner last night if my life depended on it."Ummmm, I guess I am in good company! Except my wife isn't patient with me.
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That’s hilarious 😂
Steve Minnich0 -
You get used to working for years you always know what day it is. You work M-F and maybe some on weekends. Being retired every day is the same. Not going to work so you have nothing to relate the days to.
I usually know what day it is but every so often I will get a day where I think its Friday, but I am surprised to find out its Saturday.
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Thank you! Very kind of you to say. Do we know each other? I don’t recognize your moniker, JMC3
Steve Minnich0
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