Trouble with stopping

Steve Minnich

I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. I worked full time, night crew at a local grocery store my senior year and somehow managed to graduate. I went to college on my own dime and, miraculously, left after 2 years with 3.78 GPA. I had $1800 left and I used it to grade school for HVAC. I knew immediately that this was my calling.

From age 21 to 62 I worked in the this great in many different variations; HVAC serviceman and installer, union tinner, and after reading one of Dan’s books in the mid to late 90’s, hydronic heating became my life. Near the end, I wrote for PHC News for 4 years, and also began doing strictly hydronic designs for people all across the States and handful in Canada.

While this going on the last year or two, I got the diagnosis nobody wants to get. I retired, was approved for disability and rightfully so. I’m sick. I’m 66 years old. So what! The only thing that stops me is if I can’t get off the floor after a fall.

In the meantime, I’ve down everything to our home one can do; remodeled bathrooms and kitchen, two new forced air sytems, a heat pump mini-split for my shop, and on and on. My last two projects have been the water service upgrades and the water filtration system. And now, I’m completing the second heating system in our home. That’s it. I’m done. Now what?

My intent was to go back to college and get my Bachelor's Degree in Eng/Lit. I canned that because I would need to take a full course load for two years to achieve my goal and that’s just not being realistic.

Most people would say relax, enjoy your kids and your grandkids, take care of yourself with the time you have, and enjoy your hobbies of woodworking, writing, reading, listening to music, or watching my Chicago sports teams. Blah, blah, blah.

My kids and grandkids live 1700 miles away and their whole families will be here at the end of the month for a full week. That, is going to be special I feel it in every ounce of my being.

When it’s time for them to go, I’ll read books and I’ll listen to music every waking hour like always. Maybe do some small woodworking projects, but there’s nothing that blows the tiny hairs on my bald head back like doing the hydronic and piping work I’ve been doing the last 3 weeks. It’s been a natural high of adrenaline rush coupled with endorphins overload and I don’t want to let go of that.

Sooo, I reached out to a company I once worked for and was highly regarded, another that was my favorite supply house who within the last 8 years tried to bring on board to run their heating department, and yet another that I have had a good relationship with for 40 years. I was asking for nothing, literally. No insurance, no benefits, no pay requirements, asking for only 10-15 per week, doing whatever they required me to do as long as it involved the world of hydronic heating. The responses were definitive answers of no on all three.
That point in your life where you want to continue doing the job you love, but you honestly can’t offer what you once were very capable of, and there’s zero interest hits different.
My wife is an APRN in women’s health and has been carrying the load. I just wanted to help out a bit more. I was born to work. It’s what I do. Even with advanced Multiple System Atrophy, I still feel the need for the speed I get when creating.
How have you older guys like me handled it? Is there a point where you just surrender to it? Have you found something to replace it? Any depressive issues as result of the loss? Sit back and just relax has never been in my comfort zone. I’m already in therapy for it at Cleveland Clinic where my neurologists are.

So far, throughout this journey, I’ve been relatively good at accepting and adjusting to what comes next. The last “no” came today and I have chip on my shoulder the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. A while back, Dan suggested I write 1500 words a day. I’m up to about 60 or 70,000 at this point. There’s nothing cohesive about it, but with a lot of hard work I may be able to make something of it. Maybe a fictional account of this troubled kid who is 72% Irish and grew up on south side of Chicago who punch his kindergarten teacher on the first day of school. And then, cut school the second day until his mom found him hiding in a nearby alley after the school called with information of this truant child. I don’t know? I’m just spitballing here for something to occupy a brain and body that doesn’t want to stop.

pumpcontrolguy

I've still got about 25-30 years to go before I'm in your shoes, but a long time ago I was the super for a retirement complex so I knew and worked with a lot of folks in your stage of life.

Most important thing hands down: you have to keep moving and thinking as much as you can.

The folks that just sat around and watched daytime television would very quickly decline. The folks that kept as physically active as they could and did things that took brainpower stayed with it until the body finally said "no more".

A big change like requirement is hard, because so much changes so fast. I have an acquaintance around your age who has retired 3 times so far, but just like you he gets antsy and within a year finds a new job. and that's after beating bladder cancer a couple years back!

As far as what should you do, you'll have to find the answers that fit for you, but If you keep looking I'm sure you'll find something. Are there any local tech schools you can volunteer at? That way you're active with the trades. After all, being an old-timer you know all the best tips and tricks. But also don't be shy on searching out other activities too.

Definitely also seek out other retirees and find out what activities they do that you can potentially join in. I knew a group of old timers that would meet up for breakfast and shooting the breeze at a local diner twice a week. If you're not super rural, I can guarantee that there are groups of retirees around you that do things like go for group walks, play cards, and other such low impact, but active things. If you're religious at all, that's also another great way to stay connected and active with people.

EdTheHeaterMan

Have you tried Knitting?

EBEBRATT-Ed

I certainly feel your pain. I am the same way. Just turned 73. Retired 7 years. Bad disks in neck that cause sever migraines from time to time (bad enough that all I can do is sit in the house) and a few other issues.

If I could work, I would still be working.

My father was a workaholic died at 56

Then I worked at a restaurant while in school for another workaholic. Got out of school and started with an oil company. My boss was 65 and I was 21 and he could waste me.

So I caught the disease of too much work. Life never had a balance for me. The sea saw tilted towards work all the time.

Just recently I had a good stretch. Starting last January, I fixed up a rental property my nephew owns. A little carpentry, some plumbing and boiler work but mostly an 85% complete rewire. I was working 6, 8, 10 hours some days. I haven't worked like that in over 7 years. The electrical just passed inspection last week.

I worried about getting involved with it in case I crapped out halfway through, but I managed it somehow. Spent days going up and down stairs fishing wire from the basement to the second floor. 23 light fixtures, 9 smoke-smoke/carbon monoxide detectors, 43 receptacles. I was in every junction, light, switch and receptacle box in the house. All tamper proof receptacles and AFCI/GFCI where required. No opening walls all fished. My wire fishing skills and plaster patching skills improved greatly. LOL

Depression and anxiety I am always fighting and nothing really helps………except a meter, screwdriver and a wrench!!!!!!!😊😊😊😊 Sold a lot of my tools but still have too many. If I walk through Lowe's, HD or a hardware store I have to keep my hands in my pocket or I will buy some tools.

So right now I am back in a bad stretch but it will pass.

Too late to change now, it's the way i am wired.

I am sure there is a company in your area that would love to have your expertise. The thought of turning 80 in 7 years is not comfortable…..if I even make it that far.

hot_rod

Maybe try that "tech support" idea with some of the rep firms. Most are still private family business, not tied to the corporate system like many wholesalers are.

Close to you Western Nevada Supply has a good hydronics team and also a rep division, Reno headquarters.

The Caleffi rep group is great, find all their contacts on the website and reach out.

PM or call me anytime if I can help in your quest

Steve Minnich

https://forum.heatinghelp.com/discussion/comment/1900297#Comment_1900297

That’s a great idea. I once worked Tech Support for 5 years, thrived at it. Today, it’s not possible. The answers are there. It just takes me a lot longer to retrieve them. And then there’s the talking part of it. I do ok for about 30 minutes and then it devolves into incomprehensible mush. I would also be completely winded after 30 minutes and the longer it goes, the quicker my brain starts to shut down. MSA literally attacks your brain cells. Honestly, I’m not a good fit anywhere except for writing. I’m thinking of a fictional character and I have a vivid imagination so I’d have a lot of fun with that even it doesn’t lead to anything.

pumpcontrolguy

Sounds like you need to write a hydronic based mystery novel for us all to read and enjoy!

Larry Weingarten

Steve, I do like the idea of writing! You have the best readers for your work right here. Many authors as well, who I'm positive would like to help you publish or get published. I'm glad to help. You've got great information that can help this world, so… what's the working title for your book? 😇

Yours, Larry

SlamDunk

I'm watching this thread closely. I get asked when will I retire at least once a week. I'm a reasonably healthy 62. I don't even know how to retire. Or, what I will do with my time when I do retire. I know the statistics say that I will retire soon because of health issues, a loved one's health issues or the economy will tank and I'll be laid off-permanently.

Only a precious few people in the trades make it to 67+. Yesterday, I attended a retirement party for a guy 8 years younger than me and the question came fast and furiously. I had two answers. Either: I don't have plans. I am fortunate to like what I do. I have seen with my own eyes that when we make plans, God laughs. Or: My career is like taking a dump. When I'm done, I'm done. But the right answer is, I am lucky that I love what I do and I have a lot of vacation time. So retirement is a ways off barring health issues.

@Steve Minnich I'm sorry you have MSA. I looked it up and it sounds awful.

Steve Minnich

https://forum.heatinghelp.com/discussion/comment/1900305#Comment_1900305

I was thinking of a the title of a great Marvin Gaye song - Trouble Man 😂

Steve Minnich

https://forum.heatinghelp.com/discussion/comment/1900306#Comment_1900306

Thanks Greg. Great insight. It isn’t so bad if you stay in the moment and just keep accepting, adjusting, and fighting.

Intplm.

@Steve Minnich I like that @DanHolohan encouraged you to write. I remember reading your stuff. Hope you will keep at that. You surely have a gift. It's one of many.

This year, the world and work have surely caught up with me. With the weekly doctor's appointments and health interruptions. My ills are work-related, repetitive motion ailments. So some mornings it's tough to get motivated. The sheets in the morning can be a little heavy at times. But I have discovered in my semi-retired way that I, too, have to keep moving. Some days are better than others, but most of the time, the clients I interact with are very satisfied with the results. This is what helps to keep me going. It's motivating.

Something else that keeps me going is the fact that many close to me died during COVID-19. It reminded me that life is short. So I keep going, doing the best that I can.

I think pursuing those interests is excellent. Just keeping at it is the key.

Oh and one more thing…Go Whalers? Uh no…Hurricanes…a boy can dream.

EBEBRATT-Ed

I certainly agree with what @Intplm. posted about keeping moving. It does help. The job I just did for my nephew was mostly fun then not so much as time went on.

After 7 years of not doing a lot, I was surprised at what I was able to do. I actually had many weeks of feeling like I was 40 again…..well maybe 50. But that didn't last. I was pretty slow most of the time. I never considered myself fast but now there is no doubt no one could afford to hire me now my production was pretty slow LOL😊😊

I worked till I was 65 1/2. Then the bad headaches started. Looking back I know the reason. Me and a Co-worker replaced a 23 Section Burnham V11 so that is 10,000lbs of cast iron to move x 2 because we removed the old boiler with a two-wheel hand truck and chain fall to get them up and down the stairs. When that job was done I was feeling a bit off and didn't know why.

So we went to the next job and replaced a Smith #28 that was maybe 10 sections and I had to quit in the middle of the job. Headaches made me dizzy and wobbly, so I was done. I have since wished I would have retired at 62 but I was doing fine at the time and I was always worried about having enough $$$

So I can't advise anyone on what to do approaching retirement as none of us has a crystal ball.

Larry Weingarten

Okay, We have a title. "Trouble Man". Now for a subtitle … Learning how to stay in the moment, and just keep accepting, adjusting, and fighting 📖 🤠

Yours, Larry

EBEBRATT-Ed

@Larry Weingarten

Never going to quit but it does mess with your brain a lot LOL😊😊😊😊

Got a niece who needs a new furnace and an AC replacement.

Could be my next job🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have done some Sheetmetal but I have to include some $$$$$ for band Aids in the quote LOL