The time has come... however...

Mustangman

At some point, we all will retire. I am old enough but love what I do so I stayed working as an HVAC manager. I have had back issues since highschool. The first back pain started after I caught a pass playing HS football. We did not throw much back then. Our coach said, " When you throw the ball, 3 things can happen and 2 are bad.. so we ran a lot. So, my senior year, they called a pass play and I was the primary target. Our QB throws me a pass and he led me way too much so I had to lay out to catch it.. so I did. This little punk from the other team speared me right in the small of my back. I have had pain on and off since that day. I remember after the game, sitting in the bath tub crying it hurt so bad. Over the years I had 3 failed surgeries. I got about 8 years where I was feeling good enough to work. A few months ago while looking at a job and had to crawl to get a model number and heard a crack. Since that day, I have been in agony. I am going to pain management and it feels worse now. The surgeon wants to do a 5 level fusion. I had a 3 level 20 years ago and it was a disaster. So the thought of getting on the table is not appealing.

I had to really take a look at things because I can't handle the pain.. every minute of every day. As I mentioned, I am old enough to retire so I looked into it. I can draw SS but can only make 21K a year. What ever goes over the 21K I have to pay back. I looked at my pay stubs and I am at 19K for this year. I love my job but, I have to do what is best for me.

Yesterday, I gave my 2 week notice. I am crushed inside. What the heck am I going to do if I am not working? I never drempt that the end of my career would be like this. What complicates things is I can't physically do anything…. We all tend to identify ourselves by what our occupation is. Who will I become? What is the next step? Surgery? Continue with Pain Management? Do I have enough money to live on? Like many of you, I started working at 15 years old. Working everyday is all I know.

I teach classes here every Thursday. Our attempt to get guys trained quicker. My boss asked me to keep having a weekly class and he would pay me cash. I am sure some of you guys have already retired and had the same feelings I am having. Any comments would be appreciated

I am sure some of you are wondering if I retaliated on the kid who took the cheap shot? I was extremely mean at the time. I lost my Dad just before Football season started so I had a huge chip on my shoulder. I did retaliate. The play was away from my side so my job was to go down field and block. His number was 18 and the play was away from him too so I caught him just jogging. He never saw me coming… it was ugly. I totally blind sided him … he went down and did not get right up. The game was over for him. True story.

Thanks for listening to me. Like I said, any advice or comments would be appreciated.

Steve Noviello

Larry Weingarten

Hi @Mustangman , You put a lot into this post! To start, it's good to have a reason to live. Teaching and helping others is a really good reason. It's part of what keeps me going. So, take up your boss on his offer and help the students! You can do them a lot of good.

About health, I've been making a study of it as I've had too many friends, many much younger, just up and die. A big problem is the Standard American Diet, or SAD. It's not what our bodies evolved to consume. I learn from people like Dr. David Pearlmutter, John Robbins, and Lee Euler (even though he's always trying to sell stuff). They work on foundational things that can help with the basics of maintaining a strong body and mind. Then you can go further and look into Siddha Veda and Dr. Naram, to see another, much older way of working on things that Western medicine doesn't deal with well.

Probably most important is no matter what, don't let go of hope. That's one very powerful medicine.

Yours, Larry

Mad Dog_2

Work the phones now. My wife worked with a great but simple man, Steve Thuong (RIP). First generation Chinese American..grew up working in the restaurant, went to College, got a good civil service job. Steve never married, but Hunted and fished avidly. He loved his job. He enjoyed life and had health issues in his late 40s. Them the amputation started..toes, feet, legs. Despite this Steve barely missed work. Leg off Monday...back at his desk the following week. Steve would crawl to work if that's what it took. At the end, he would nod off at his computer.

Steve was happy and grateful till the end. What a guy. If you truly love what you do, stay involved..find a way..Mad Dog

PC7060

Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I have spinal stenosis and dealt with back issues for many years.
I recommend yoga. It is a great tool for building flexibility and strengthening your back and core muscles. Slow and consistent is the key to success.

Big Ed_4

Retirement to me is slowing down, and take the time when you want it …..

EBEBRATT-Ed

@Mustangman

I am sort of in the same boat in some ways. I worked till I was 65 1/2 and started to have all sorts of issues. Up till that time I was working and could waste most 40-year-olds. It started with headaches so bad I couldn't do anything. Nothing helped. I went from neurologist to neurologist to neurologist waiting 3-4 months to get an appointment. This was just before Covid. I was planning on retiring within a year anyhow. My retirement plan was to have some fun and work 2-3 days a week. That hasn't worked out. I Finally traveled to Boston to see a third neurologist who told me I have disk problems in my neck which is probably causing the headaches, so she told me to strengthen my upper back muscles. This has helped somewhat, and it gives me something to do (go to the gym)

When you're working and everything is going ok you think it will never happen to you. I didn't think it would happen to me. I worked a lot of OT right up to the end

Have had other issues since seems to go on and on.

I always knew I was working too much but I loved it for 46 years.

The problem is as you have pointed out you work too much, and it becomes your identity. Now that I can't do much, I have a big problem with that. I will be 71 in a month or so and still think why I can't work like I did at 40?

Unfortunately, the medical Drs can only offer medication and surgery.

One bright spot is my sister is 77 and just had a total shoulder replacement 2 months ago and is doing very well with no pain. Maybe back surgery has advanced since you had your last procedure

The only advise I can offer which may not be any good for you is exercise somewhat if you can it helps take your mind off things which is difficult when your in pain and to try and keep busy. If not anxiety and worry take over.

Many in the trade (some on this forum I have chatted with ) have had worse problems than me so I am thankful I can do what I can do.

The trades are good money but the ware and tare are happening and you don't realize it until it is too late.

I am sure lugging tool belts and pipe on my shoulders caused my neck problems.

Wishing you all the best.

Mad Dog_2

This business is BRUTAL on your body. At almost 57 I can still Rock & Roll, but I can't get by with 4-5 hours sleep anymore. My whole career I've worked diligently to develop skills that I could become very good at that didn't require bullwork, heavy lifting & killing yourself physically. Boiler wiring & Controls, no heat calls & Consulting. It's taken decades to become highly competent, but as I age, it's a perfect transition. Mad Dog

reggi

@Mustangman

50 years ago I had a choice of back surgery/ lot of risk of it not being successful/ or lose weight and as long as I can live with it avoid surgery.. the kicker was recovery would be 1 YEAR in bed on my stomach !

Pass!!

NOW, even at 50 years older, medical has advanced so much that if I opted to get the surgery today, I'd be on my feet by this afternoon walking and home tonight..

Surgical procedures have come along way in 20 years.. I'd take a good look before saying no

Mad Dog_2

You gotta learn to point. Shop Super. Train the youngsters. Put down the demo hammer and 36" Ridgid. Use your wealth of knowledge, experience & wisdom now...Mad Dog

hot_rod

Stay active, physically and mentally. Teach, volunteer, meet new people.

If you like pets, become a Rover. www.rover.com

CBD oils and lotions work for some of my family and friends

CLamb

Will the pain let you work a desk job? When my Dad messed up his back from moving lead sheets he went to college to earn a degree in Mechanical Engineering. His trade experience and degree made him very valuable. Are there no pain killers which will help? I know some folks have bad reactions or addictive reactions to opioids or the doctors are just afraid to prescribe them.

tim smith

If you have the skills, maybe get ahold of some of the mfrs you have worked with. Tech support remote work has proven to be a decent path for some. Share your knowledge with others who are trying to learn, just like we did.

Good Luck

Tim (also retiring)

Mad Dog_2

There's a place for ANY person in these trades with decades of experience...keep an open mind....something good is ahead...Mad Dog

SlamDunk

You have done it! Now, own it. Two things will send you to an early grave. Wallowing in self pity and sitting on your ****. Go get physical therapy, join a gym, yoga is a very, very good idea. Not with You Tube, with other people and by yourself. Teach those classes and collect that cash. Garden. Read. Take your wife out to dinner. To the best of of your abilty keep moving. Edit: Motion is lotion. Rest is rust.

hot_rod

https://forum.heatinghelp.com/discussion/comment/1801018#Comment_1801018

The word Yoga turns some people off, call it stretching exercises, plenty of online videos to get you started. I first started during the COVID years, it helps a ton. I may have a few years on you.

Mad Dog_2

When I was a HS powerlifter, Football and Track & Field enthusiasts, "Yoga" was for guys like my Hippie Flower Child Uncle Leo (RIP). Then, my mom & grandmother wanted to take Yoga at Nassau CC at night. I wasn't letting go by themselves, so I took the class. The Male instructor was excellent and if was just like Stretching & Calisthenics, flexibility for sports..PLUS...learning how to relax and zone out. I remember he had a soundtrack of waves & the water. Put us in the twilight zone. I never mocked Yoga after that...I've even done goat & Llama Yoga with The Wife. I highly recommend it, especially as you age..Mad Dog

SlamDunk

There is a timely piece in todays NYT magazine about the challenges in retirement. Ill post link here but you may hit a paywall.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/05/magazine/retirement-couples.html

Jamie Hall

Just a few miscellaneous thoughts…

First, on the pain. Really work on two things. No, three. Hmm… four. First, back surgery for nerve impingement has come a long long way, even in the last decade never mind 30 years. That said, it is not a job for an amateur. Nor is it a job which should be taken without a really thorough search for as good an estimate as possible of what the problem really is. Surgeons, certainly. But also neurologists, sports medicine orthopedic types and others. Don't be afraid to consult with several different doctors — and specialties. Second, see if you can get a referral (if needed) to a really good physical therapist. They do exist — and sometimes can do a world of good. Third, be sure to tell them if you ever had a back injury in the past, even if the problem "went away". That can help them look. And fourth, pain kills. Not just enjoyment of life, but literally. That does not mean, however, that relief of pain through pills is a good idea. If you do — or your physicians want you to — use pain medication, have it evaluated very thoroughly. Not all pain is responsive to medication, or to particular medications, and be really really careful about the heavier and thus more addictive artillery. That said, it may be helpful in therapy simply to relax muscles which are "locked" by pain. Some above have suggested CBD. No harm to trying it, but it is not as harmless as the advocates might have you believe — even if it is a "recreational" drug. It may or may not do anything for you — if it doesn't, leave it alone.

Yoga has also been mentioned. Done right — under careful guidance — it can do some to a lot of good (not just with the pain, by the way, but overall). Done wrong, it can make things a lot worse very quickly. It takes a lot of experience and work for a yoga master or mistress to become really good at analysing what is helping — and what isn't. Some of the best, by the way, are also licensed physical therapists — see above!

Now on what to do with the time… a lot of good suggestions up there. But I have one really important thought: learn to accept, with grace, any limitations which your physical situation places on you. That may be extraordinarily difficult — and may even need some counseling. Don't be afraid of that,