Saturday night funny

Saturday night funny

My dear daughter, knowing how I absolutely LOVE to go shopping with her mother, sent me this joke.

She knows me too well. I have actually done a couple of these things. No, I will not divulge which ones they are.

Enjoy........and you guys tell me if some of these or at least something like it hasn't crossed your mind while shopping with your better half. Be honest.






Some way cool ideas for those who hate shopping with their wives!

Subject: Shopping with a bored husband

Letter:

Mrs. Fenton, our store is considering banning your family from ever
shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list
of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance
cameras.

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse/partner is shopping:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking, then waited for them to come through the checkout.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.


7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding department.


8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'



9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.


10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.


11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.


12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" with various sized funnels


13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"


14. December 21: During a loud speaker announcement, he assumed the
fetal position and screamed, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"


15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

#2

only works well if the store sells wind-up alarm clocks. But this technique is quite effective in antique malls, where you might find a whole bunch of these clocks.

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