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Oil Burner & Beer

Saturday night, man, I can't believe it. 10 degrees OAT (outside air temperature). Come home from work after drinking about 70 beers at the bar. House freezing. Fall down the stairs to check oil burner. *&^%$!! thing ain't working. Stumble over to oil tank. Plenty of oil. Crawl back to furnace, loosen oil line on pump. OOOPS!!! Should have pressed reset first. Tighten oil line...Dang!!! Bust knuckles...press reset...FUUUUUUUMP! Thing takes off. Now funny noises, like blast off. Read warning label...nope, doesn't apply to me...it's titled AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. OK, head upstairs for a beer...upstairs filled with smoke. Hmmm, think I'll call Mr. Jaeger, he's an authorized person but he ain't home, the wife says she will send the son. I seen the son and he ain't no oil burner mechanic, he's some kind of ham operator. OK, I'm three sheets to the wind and need some one to come over. Now the kid shows up with some jewish friend. They are only slightly more sober than I am. Takes sniff. Yup we got a stinker. Only he thinks it's burned cap. Like oil filled ham radio capacitor. Sorry, Charlie. The kid heads over to the controls, feels up the ignition transformer. OUCH!! Thing is hot. Stinks like burned tar. Tells me that's where the smoke is from, and that once you let the smoke out of any electrical component, that you cannot get it back in. Smart kid. OK, where to get ignition tranny on a Saturday night? No problem, kids go home and raid old man's truck. Aha, brand new France 10 KV job. Slap that puppy in there, done deal. All right, now don't fix what ain't busted, or don't fix first what busted last, or whatever. Why did the first tranny burn up? Aha, partially shorted winding. Not enough draw to pop 20 amp breaka. So, we are going to install 7 amp fuse for furnace as soon as we are sober enough. This kid is going to go far. I give him a 100 ft roll of coax in trade for the work. Done deal.
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