Response to \"How Would you Hnadle This\"

Unknown

few days about dealing with "impossible customers" prompted me to think about all of the times in over 40 years I have had to deal with "people problems". As a service man working for seven years in the inner city and then three years in the most affluent section of RI I guess I ran into all kinds. What I discovered however as years went by and I guess I learned to deal with people they became less and less. This caused me to think maybe in the past it was my approach. Nah could not have been that but then again you never know.

As a husband and father I also found myself dealing with those "people" again. In fact I came to the conclusion that if it were not for those customers, wife and kids I could be a great serviceman, husband and father. Just about that time the good Lord saw fit to have me take on the pastorate of a pioneer work in the inner city. This is when those "people" really became a problem. It was for the next seventeen years I learned that definitely if it were not for those "people" I could be a great pastor.

Just kidding, I have learned to love "people" over the years no matter what they do or act like. I did that by first learning to love myself. I think the good book says something about "love your neighbour as you love yourself".
Not easy that is for sure, I came up with somethings that I tried to pass on to others. I have actually run seminars on "CONFLICT RESOLUTION" I came up with ways to either COMPOUND the problem OR RESOLVE the problem.

I will put them in a continuation of this thread.

Unknown

Resolving \"CONFLICT\"

First some sure fire ways to make a bad situation worse:

1. Blame the other person: "It's all your fault!"

2. Play martyr: "It's all my fault!"

3. Clam up

4. Dredge up faults of the past

5. Think only of yourself.

6. Say, "You act just like your mother."

7. Threaten to go home to Mother.

8. Tell a friend or co-worker - in the stictest confidence, of course - all about your personal family problems.

9. Insist on getting your own way.

10. Ridicule the other person's point of view.

11. Act as though you are always right and the other person is always wrong.

Now those may not apply to every job situation but it has been my experience as you are at home so you eventually are on the job. What are you actually communicating to the customer. Remember what is clear to you may not be clear to others. Get out of the way and step into the other persons shoes.

I will make one more thread to this and that will be HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT just easier to read and follow that way.

Unknown

Resolving \"CONFLICT\"

Want to SNATCH victory from the jaws of defeat? Try these ideas:

1. Be willing to say, "I was wrong."

2. Say, "I'm sorry" - and mean it.

3. Try looking at the issue from the other persons point of view.

4. Consider working out a COMPROMISE. That is a tough word for some of us.

5. Take a step back and look at the issue objectively.

6. Adopt a "cooling-off period"; things will probably look different in a few hours. Before you post a thread write it out on paper and wait an hour or so before you post something contoversal or something written in anger. Most of the time you will throw it away.

7. Be willing to give in to keep peace in the family, on the job and with your customers. There is no end to how far you can go with this. I have had to lose money more than once to keep the peace. I find by the way what goes around comes around. What I have given away to keep the peace has later been rewarded by a bonus somewhere else. It is after all better to give than to receive. Give and it will be given back to you.

8. Be willing to negotiate. I used to have a lot of fun with this with my kids. We got to the point in the teen years that negotiation was the way almost everything was done. My daughter today still does it with her kids and they love it. It means they get to have their say in a matter, it also means they may not always get their way. Say do you think we can do that with customers Hmmmmm.

9. Together yes I said together, decide on a "CREATIVE ALTERNATIVE" to CONFLICT.

Creative alternatives is still another subject for a later time. Hope some of this helps a little bit.

Unknown

Any comments

gents?

Larry (from OSHA)

Like so many others here

I never get tired of coming to the Wall. I really can't tell you how much I treasure the wealth of knowledge from everyone who posts. I technical tidbits from hydronicians coast to coast and everywhere in between. But I think the best that the Wall brings are the posts to ponder such as yours Tim. While I don't exactly have customers, I do deal with people and conflict resolution is most certainly part of my day. Thank you very much for some reminders, and making me smile. By the way, any chance of making it to Minnesota in June?

Larry (from OSHA)

Larry Weingarten

I would be surprised ...

...if you have not read Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I know the title is now like a worn out joke, but the book is essentially on how to be, in the best sense, human. You MUST have read it; you've cretainly come to the same conclusions. :~)

Yours, Larry

Unknown

Larry W. yes I have actually

taken some courses over the years. I am sure they have infuenced my approach to life. I do however essentially base most of my counsel on the Word of God. The best book on human behavior ever written.

Unknown

Larry from OSHA

Wow you must deal with conflict all the time. I remember one OSHA inpection I was involved with and the poor guy from OSHA who was just doing his job was taking a lot of flack from a business owner.

Thanks for the comments. I will not be able to get to the next Wetstock as I have a series of classes scheduled with the Propane Association.

Unknown

By the way HNandle is not

mispelled it is how I spell it "H" for Human "N" for nature, get it handle Human Nature.

Larry (from OSHA)

actually Tim

you might be surprised that I fortunately don't have that many confrontational situations. Most employers either realize that I'm just a guy doing a job, or they are nice to me as they know there is nothing to gain in pissing off the OSHA inspector! Actually, the majority of them thank me for finding stuff that might hurt their employees. Sorry you can't make it to Minnesota for the next Wetstock, it is a great time of year to be here. Thanks for all that you do.

Larry (from OSHA)

helpingothershelpthemselves_2

Tim

Very well put . As a business owner , new husband , and heating instructor , I would agree totally that communication and NOT confrontation is the way . Several years of public speaking can give you alot of insight on the various personalities of people if your open to it .
Lifes experiences lends itself quite well in dealing and communicating with others , be they clients , students , family or friends .

Thanks Tim ,
Ken Resnick

JimGPE_3

OSHA

I had my first meeting not long ago with a representative from OSHA. He really was a nice guy, and really was interested in job safety not in making people miserable.

Having said that, there really are few things that turn one's blood cold faster than having someone walk up to you and flip open their ID wallet and have it say OSHA....