Thursday Humor

Jim Bennett

He was late. Really late.


A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to
hold a grave-side burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were there.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain't never seen anything like that."

ScottMP

Thanks Jim

Thats a good one.

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hydronicsmike

25 Signs Showing You Might be Canadian


1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".

2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

4. You drink Pop, not Soda.

5. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean

6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and no Americans (please dont get offended here...its all cut and paste out of a silly email forward. We actually love Americans).

7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions
Canada.

12. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and many more, are Canadians.

13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

14. You know what a touque is.

15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"

17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages,but requires 6 pages for hockey.

18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work .

19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

20. You und erstand the Labatt Blue commercials.

21. You know how to pronounce and spell " Saskatchewan".
(Sas-KAT-chew-w'n)

22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

23. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than,"Huh?"

25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!!!! and then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further