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Monday humor

Tony_8 Member Posts: 608
This covers enough territory to offend just about everybody :)


  • EJW
    EJW Member Posts: 321
    Link does not work

  • Tony_8
    Tony_8 Member Posts: 608
    works for me

    try w/Explorer or hit "refresh"
  • Glenn Harrison_2
    Glenn Harrison_2 Member Posts: 845
    I can't get it to work either...

    I tried three times, it opens a new page that says page unavailable. It may be opening for you because you have previously opened it on your computer.

    If it's supposed to be a picture, it has to be a JPEG for it to work properly thru HH.com, (and maybe .bmp)
  • Tony_8
    Tony_8 Member Posts: 608

    it's all text.

    Guess that's what I get for trying to work "out of trade" :)

    Anybody have any ideas if reattaching doesn't work ?
  • Robert O'Connor_7
    Robert O'Connor_7 Member Posts: 688

    I was able to open it.....Funny, and my computor is old and slow,,,like me!.......Robert O'Connor/NJ
  • Tony_8
    Tony_8 Member Posts: 608
    good one

    my computer's old and slow too, I'm just slow with the computer.
  • Glenn Harrison_2
    Glenn Harrison_2 Member Posts: 845
    Here we go

    Had to save it then open it with wordpad.

    You live in Arizona when:

    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

    2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.

    3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

    4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

    5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

    6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.

    7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

    8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

    9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

    10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what
    hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

    You Live in California when..

    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

    2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

    3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

    4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

    5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

    6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You Live in New York City when...

    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

    2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

    3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

    4. You think Central Park is "nature,"

    5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

    6. You've worn out a car horn.

    7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You Live in Maine when...

    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    You Live in the Deep South when...

    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

    2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.

    3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"

    4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

    5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

    You live in Colorado when...

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You live in the Midwest when...

    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

    You live in Florida when....

    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind --
    even houses and cars.

    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
  • ScottMP
    ScottMP Member Posts: 5,884
    Thats Great Stuff

    My favorite is picking up Granola at the day care :)

    By the way, I could'nt open it either.

    Oh, and the seasons are actually Winter and July.


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  • Joannie_2
    Joannie_2 Member Posts: 7

    Grew up in Maine. "Halloween costumes fit over parkas." made me laugh out loud!
This discussion has been closed.