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The difference between Americans and Canadians
RB_2
Member Posts: 272
A great big thanks to all the Wetstock Wetheads and RPA- WAC members for the laughs and learning!
Was a crazy trip...Calgary to Toronto to Baltimore for Wetstock then onto to Long Island with the talented Mr. Doran ... back to Baltimore then onto McLean, Va for the dinner presentation and seminar the following day...finished up with a trip back to Baltimore to Toronto to Regina and finally home to Calgary.
You heating folks out in the east are great hosts and it is awesome to see old friends and make some new ones!
Special thanks to Mr. Holohan, Dan Foley, Jeff Riley and Tim Doran for playing host during the adventure to Mr. Bill for dinner and to Mr. Yates for recording the passing of Gils Wheel.
rb
...the following excerpt from the dinner meeting chuckles...most are stolen, many are altered, a few are original...Dan calls it research...works for me.
The history of farming in Saskatchewan begins with two old boys who went 50/50 on a winning lottery ticket. The first guy was a businessman who immigrated from the United States into Canada and the second one a born and raised Canadian farmer. When asked what each would do with his share the businessman said hed invest it in oil and gas and the farmer said hed just keep farming until it was all gone.
In the past 100 years we have learnt a Canadian is nothing more than a decaffeinated American but knows the difference between the Northern Lights and a Northern Lite and can make love in a canoe without tipping either the canoe or the person your with. We are also a nation which considers turning up the thermostats as part of foreplay, go to hot tub parties where people actually wear bathing suits and we dismisses all beer under 6% as for children and the elderly. We are a unique country in fact Canada is the only country which produces Canadians and unlike any international assassins, terrorists or spy .most of us do not posses a Canadian passport. You may also have heard that our government is considering decriminalizing marijuana, which would be a real bummer for those parts of Canada, which still do not allow Sunday shopping. Many people think the national bird is the Canada goose but in fact it is actually a turkey and we raise them in pens in our capital city and we call them Senators and keep them alive with heavy doses of protocol, alcohol, and Geritol.
We have three major political parties, the first robs the rich to bribe the poor, and the second steals back the bribes to pay off the rich, and the third steal and robs from the rich and poor to buy off Quebec. Having said that we consider our current state of freedom directly related to being next door to big brother and take solace in knowing well never declare war on each other because there would be no place for draft dodgers to go. The real difference between a Canadian and American is when you say missile we think, toe, when you say tank we think septic and when you say submarine we think sandwich.
Other than that, were pretty much the same.
Beyond the Rails.
Was a crazy trip...Calgary to Toronto to Baltimore for Wetstock then onto to Long Island with the talented Mr. Doran ... back to Baltimore then onto McLean, Va for the dinner presentation and seminar the following day...finished up with a trip back to Baltimore to Toronto to Regina and finally home to Calgary.
You heating folks out in the east are great hosts and it is awesome to see old friends and make some new ones!
Special thanks to Mr. Holohan, Dan Foley, Jeff Riley and Tim Doran for playing host during the adventure to Mr. Bill for dinner and to Mr. Yates for recording the passing of Gils Wheel.
rb
...the following excerpt from the dinner meeting chuckles...most are stolen, many are altered, a few are original...Dan calls it research...works for me.
The history of farming in Saskatchewan begins with two old boys who went 50/50 on a winning lottery ticket. The first guy was a businessman who immigrated from the United States into Canada and the second one a born and raised Canadian farmer. When asked what each would do with his share the businessman said hed invest it in oil and gas and the farmer said hed just keep farming until it was all gone.
In the past 100 years we have learnt a Canadian is nothing more than a decaffeinated American but knows the difference between the Northern Lights and a Northern Lite and can make love in a canoe without tipping either the canoe or the person your with. We are also a nation which considers turning up the thermostats as part of foreplay, go to hot tub parties where people actually wear bathing suits and we dismisses all beer under 6% as for children and the elderly. We are a unique country in fact Canada is the only country which produces Canadians and unlike any international assassins, terrorists or spy .most of us do not posses a Canadian passport. You may also have heard that our government is considering decriminalizing marijuana, which would be a real bummer for those parts of Canada, which still do not allow Sunday shopping. Many people think the national bird is the Canada goose but in fact it is actually a turkey and we raise them in pens in our capital city and we call them Senators and keep them alive with heavy doses of protocol, alcohol, and Geritol.
We have three major political parties, the first robs the rich to bribe the poor, and the second steals back the bribes to pay off the rich, and the third steal and robs from the rich and poor to buy off Quebec. Having said that we consider our current state of freedom directly related to being next door to big brother and take solace in knowing well never declare war on each other because there would be no place for draft dodgers to go. The real difference between a Canadian and American is when you say missile we think, toe, when you say tank we think septic and when you say submarine we think sandwich.
Other than that, were pretty much the same.
Beyond the Rails.
0
Comments
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Like a family.......we may disagree....
but we are still family and man to man are not all that different. Hey, Do they still make Moosehead Beer? After we buried our SFC on Thursday, we had a little lunch, and plenty o' beer - Canadian! The Labatt's flowed like butter milk! Mad Dog
To Learn More About This Professional, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Professional"0 -
One more thing Robert
The difference also includes Steve Yzerman and Jerome Iginlia. The Wings will shoot the Flames down in flames.0 -
Flames...
We're still reeling from yesterdays loss! Alas we're a hardy bunch and I predict some 'clipping of the wings' in the future.
Good to see you again John.
rb0 -
Home grown...
Hiya Mad Dog!
Moosehead, Labatts Blue, ...have all accounted for pain and pleasure in my youth!
The unknown (to you folks south of the border) microbreweries turned full scale operators are the producers of some fine stuff...
Here in Calgary we have the Big Rock brand...they started exporting a few years back - not sure if its traveled its way into your neck of the woods - if you can ever get your hands on this refreshment its worth asking for.
Go Flames Go!
rb
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WAIT>>> a minute!!
Shoot???????
We have gun laws!!
They don't work here neither!! LOL
Wings are buffalo fodder!
gl Detroit!0 -
0 -
Canada - The great protector
You guys have to remember the cold war. We kept USSR from invading. Why? They would have to go through Regina and Winnipeg. You thought Siberia was cold. Why do you think they call us "Crazy Canucks". ( I can say this because I was from Regina - brrr cold)0 -
Historically, We watched eachothers backs
A little cold never stopped the Russian Hordes, but they knew that an invasion on the North American Continent North or South would ally us all. Mad Dog
To Learn More About This Professional, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Professional"0 -
I remember
The Iran hostage taking and that you "Crazy Canucks" hid our guys in your basement and "force fed them Moosehead"
Love you more then grits and gravy for that. Best Wishes J.Lockard0 -
Another Win
So does this mean you guys phoned Detroit and asked them to take one on the chin so Calgary can win. (haha)0 -
Ouch
Iginla is tough and my team looks old and slow.
Hey wait, we are old and slow (Wings in 7).0 -
Oilers Fan
Being from northern alberta I will always be an oilers fan. But we are done like dinner this year and practicing our golf swing. Lets get the cup into alberta. As much as it hurts to say it, here it goes " GO FLAMES GO!" Don't worry Calgary, We will get you next year.0 -
GO WINGS!
4-2, last night's score and probably the number the Wings will win the series by. The dream matchup is Wings vs. Maple Leafs in the finals -- a throwback to the "original six" days!0 -
no way
we will slip past ya when your not looking0 -
Forgot
OK who forgot to call the Wings?0 -
Big Ouch
Stevie Y. took a puck in the face yesterday and is out indefinitely. Our backs are against the wall -- and kudos to the Flames. Two years ago we faced the same daunting task against the Avs and took them out. Let's hope history repeats itself.0 -
Double ouch
Sorry to hear about Stevey Y. Never want to see any one hurt like that. Hope he'll be OK.0
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