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Thursday Humor
Tom Meyer
Member Posts: 300
Reasons Why It's Fun Being A Guy!
* Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
* You can kill your own food.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
* If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passengers seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
* Same work...more pay.
* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
* Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
* You don't mooch off other's desserts.
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
you just might become lifelong friends.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice anything different?"
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Senior Designer/Trainer
Precision Hydronics Corporation
www.precisionhydronics.com
* Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
* You can kill your own food.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
* If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passengers seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
* Same work...more pay.
* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
* Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
* You don't mooch off other's desserts.
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
you just might become lifelong friends.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice anything different?"
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Senior Designer/Trainer
Precision Hydronics Corporation
www.precisionhydronics.com
0
Comments
-
* You don't complain about the position of the toilet seat because you learned LONG ago to check--even if the thing is "moving" and you're forced to sit.
* The loss of some closet space is not grounds for moving, divorce or WW-III.
* When a man asks a woman "how he looks" he actually EXPECTS an honest answer, even if, "Are you colorblind?" or "That makes your [insert body part] look huge."
* "Home Shopping" means you're either looking for gifts to recycle or found that lost cache of screwdrivers, box cutters and putty knives.
* The only thing you buy in multiples are screwdrivers, box cutters and putty knives.
* Your size IS your size--mfgrs. don't put smaller sizes on clothes to make you "feel better."0 -
and..
You can write your name in the snow without jumping around..0 -
Old plumbers never die...they just smell that way.0 -
No
Is a perfectly acceptable answer to a question.
To Learn More About This Contractor, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Contractor"0 -
Photographer
...takes the best night photos (expert at leaving lens cap on)
...best close-up pics of digits (fingers over lens)0 -
0
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