Thursday Humor

Tom Meyer

Reasons Why It's Fun Being A Guy!

* Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.


* You know stuff about tanks.

* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

* You can open all your own jars.

* Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

* You can go to the bathroom without a support group.


* You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.


* You can kill your own food.


* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

* Wedding plans take care of themselves.

* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

* Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

* If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.


* Everything on your face stays its original color.

* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passengers seat.


* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

* You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.


* Car mechanics tell you the truth.

* You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

* Same work...more pay.

* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

* Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.


* You don't mooch off other's desserts.


* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
you just might become lifelong friends.

* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice anything different?"

* You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.


* You almost never have strap problems in public.


* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

* You don't have to shave below your neck.

* At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.

* Your belly usually hides your big hips.

* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

* You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.


Senior Designer/Trainer
Precision Hydronics Corporation
www.precisionhydronics.com

Mike T., Swampeast MO

* You don't complain about the position of the toilet seat because you learned LONG ago to check--even if the thing is "moving" and you're forced to sit.

* The loss of some closet space is not grounds for moving, divorce or WW-III.

* When a man asks a woman "how he looks" he actually EXPECTS an honest answer, even if, "Are you colorblind?" or "That makes your [insert body part] look huge."

* "Home Shopping" means you're either looking for gifts to recycle or found that lost cache of screwdrivers, box cutters and putty knives.

* The only thing you buy in multiples are screwdrivers, box cutters and putty knives.

* Your size IS your size--mfgrs. don't put smaller sizes on clothes to make you "feel better."

MikeB34

and..

You can write your name in the snow without jumping around..

Terry St.James_2

Old plumbers never die...they just smell that way.

ScottMP

No

Is a perfectly acceptable answer to a question.

To Learn More About This Contractor, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Contractor"

John R. Hall

Photographer

...takes the best night photos (expert at leaving lens cap on)

...best close-up pics of digits (fingers over lens)

Aidan (UK)

And don't let them see this either.

Whoops!

Borrowed from http://www.youfunny.com/images/fp-488a.jpg