Illudium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulator

Alaska Joe

All right, hold your hats! I just returned from an 'out-of-town' Corporate project. It entailed doing a radiant slab system addition, and I installed balance valves/ circuit setters on each branch circuit (as should've been specified by the engineering department). Following the long weekend we had the normal Monday (Tuesday) 'Project Meeting'. I was asked how the previous week project had went, and explained that it was accomplished three days ahead of schedule, but the system required proper balancing again. I was questioned by the 'Higher' powers to be "Why don't we do that ourselves? How come you didn't do that 'In House'? To which I responded that, 'You failed to allow me to buy a flow manometer and or differential pressure gauge testing equipment which could perform the task....(And then I thought everybody knew I was joking when I said) "Maybe we could buy an Illudium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulator!" TO WHICH THE FOREMANS AND SUPERINTENDANT ASKED,"How much does one cost? are there any available locally?" A TRUE STORY!!!! Happenend Today in History !!!

Bob W._2

Question?

Good story. Wasn't that the one the little Martian used on Bugs Bunny? I always loved those cartoons.

Mark Hunt

I got


three of those things!! I have never used them since we don't have many talking rabbits around here anymore!!

Ain't life grand?!?!?!?!?!??

Good story!

Mark H

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Mike T., Swampeast MO

When 16 I worked in my Uncle's Auto/Speed Store

I actually fell for seeking a "muffler bearing." Everyone played along and was roaring when I finally exahusted every resource I could find.

Mark Hunt

I had some fun


with a parts person at a heating company that I worked at.

I asked him for 12 coin vents, BUT, 8 were to be RIGHT hand vents and 4 were to be LEFT hand vents.

He rummaged around for a while and came back with 12 coin vents. I lined them up so that they were all facing right and told him I needed 4 that would face left. I turned 4 to face left and said "Like this".

He stared for a moment and then the light went off!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Or how about a pipe stretcher?

Mark H

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Scott G.

How's bout a bucket of steam?

Once not so long ago while working on a rooftop of a industrial building, I started growin' tired of me doin' the wrench swingin' and me new helper doin' the watchin'... so I sez, see that steam vent up the way, bout 200 yards? "Yeah" he replies, well take this 5 gal. bucket and fill her up for me I tell em'. He trucks off with bucket in hand. When he reaches the vent, which is spewin' steam at a robust rate, he stops to ponder the situation. Next, he must of figured, how do ya' fill this? Well bein' the ace problem solver (he said he was) he turns the bucket upside down over the vent. After bout 15-20 sec. (she must be full right?) he flips the bucket right side up and starts back towards me. 5-6 steps later he realizes he's loosing steam and goes back for a refill! I had to stop em' after 3 attemps, (I think he would'nt have figured it out EVER)!

But not to be out done by that episode, one day were running some gas line, and again I'm a workin' and he is a watchin'... so I say "I'm goin' to the truck, put this 90* elbow on that length of pipe, I'll be right back" When I return, he's standin' there, elbow in hand with a puzzled look on his face. And he says (TRUE STORY) " Boss I did'nt want to f@#k-it up, I did'nt know which end of the fitting you wanted on the pipe, so I waited for you"... alls I can say is..."Some mother's children" Scott G.

ScottMP

my favorite

The Metric adjustable wrench.

In Boy Scouts it was the smoke shifter.

At least we don't send guys for a bucket of steam anymore.

Scott

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Steamhead

Dan wrote a story like this

which included Gunkulators and Turboencabulators. It's in his limited-edition book "Ye Compleate Workes of Dan Holohan" from a few years ago. One of his funniest.

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