Living Wills

Bob W._2

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Mike T., Swampeast MO

Know it's a bummer and off-topic but it IS something you should consider.

My mother was extremely crippled with polio in her childhood. Her shoulder bone literally touches her hip bone.

She fell March 7 and broke her femur. Severe complications set in and she had to be ventilated with a breathing tube. Immediately preceeding this her sister and I were present for an exceedingly disturbing event where she continually gasped letters and strange words--I realized they were commands from one of her early computers. Most likely this was concurrent with a mild heart attack.

Mom has an EXTREME drive about her as it takes EXTREME effort for her to merely exist even close to normally. Many in her condition would have given up decades ago, but her drive to live is unbelievable.

She remains under ventilation and sedation as when conscious she becomes distressed, combative and generally "messes up" her ventilation.

Dad is "not quite right" and having let his wife make most all of his decisions for him for the last 41 years tends to be indecisive. I have not tried to counsel my father in the least--instead preferring that he learn to make his own choices. While I believe he has dealt with the situation perfectly, his sister-in-law has not.

Fortunately mom has a living will that directs some difficult decisions--decisions that I honestly believe some in the family would convince my father not to allow.

She will be removed from ventilation today or tomorrow in an attempt to see if she can survive without respiratory support.

While the players in this drama may be very "unusual" and the situation rare, THIS IS THE PURPOSE OF A LIVING WILL.

It really is YOUR attempt to make very difficult decisions--decisions that your loved ones MAY NOT BE IN THE PROPER MENTAL STATE TO DIRECT.

A living will is not really about you--it is about helping those who love you.

Mark A. Custis

Thanks Mike:

Good luck durring these very difficult times.

Mark

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Jeff Lawrence_10

You

and your family will be in our prayers.

When my mom went into the hospital a little over a year ago, we thought she make it out okay. She took a turn for the worse and the family agonized over the decision. Finally someone realized she had a living will. Our decision was made for us by the lady we were worried about.

Love her while you can and remember her as the tower she was to you. You'll always be her little one.

J

Dave Palmer

Bless..

you and your family.Everyone laughed when we drew one up before the kids were born,Glad my folks do. Dave

tombig

Bless you Mike for taking time to share with us in these difficult times. You and your family are in my prayers. We missed you in Chicago and now I know why.


Your Myson ring buddy, Tom Goebig

Mike T., Swampeast MO

To Tom & all

Appreciate the good thoughts. Please, please understand the real reason this was written.

Tom: Wanted to ask you this in person, but since I can't... Was it you a bit over a year ago (if my timing is right) who asked about how to hook up a Myson towel warmer and I gave BUM advice? Something along the line of, "it looks like you just sweat on the fitting and screw on the valves?"

I'm probably deluded but that (to my knowledge) is the only awful advice I have ever given on-line--AND the reason the damned thing is still on my somewhat green finger.

Timing of this--and the impending war--and the feeling that the 9-11 terrorists had this ALL planned--and the looming spectre of "super flu" have me really deep and even stranger than normal.

Can't even pretend to be a BTU right now.

hombre de oleo

Mothers

Mike, My respect and regards to you and your family. I think I must pass this on because of the strange timing and circumstances.
My mother went through breast cancer last year(doing alright now) and we lost my brother not too long ago. He was born with cerebral palsy,in 1963, and he was everything to her(and me). Every waking moment, if you catch my drift. She was here yesterday for dinner and passed this along to me and my beautiful wife and two healthy, beautiful daughters.
"For those who are mothers,have lost mothers or have mothers......
The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked
And the guide said:"Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she could not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I have given them strength."
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped, and stumbled, and the mother said, "Look up.Lift your eyes to the light." And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my childen God."
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, and she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And the mother said," I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their childen after them."
And the children said," You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said,"We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence."
Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every teardrop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love, and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you... Not time, not space... not even death!
Pass this along to all the momns you know... and those who have moms to remind them what they have.
Peace to You Greg

tombig

Inspirational !!

That was beautiful Greg.
Whoa, Mike that wasn't me you advised. I replied to your 'copper jewelry' post cuz I had a similar experience and wound up with my own myson ring. Wore it to Wetstock in your honor,buddy.


Tom Goebig

[Deleted User]

Hang in there Mike...

and do your best to remember all the good times. My thoughts are with you, and I knew something was missing from WSII...It was YOU!

Maybe next time.

ME