The best man I know - Dan H.

Bob W._2

I have an uncle who has struggled with MS since the 1960's, still going. He was a surgeon; he refuses to get in a wheelchair, knowing he will never get out again. But the real memories are of my buddy and AA sponsor, Keith C. He got Lou Gehrig's disease, ALS. Laid there on a cot in his parents' basement - couldn't flick a fly off his nose. Thank God his eyes didn't go, as is the case with so many. We would play cribbage...I would lean his cards up against a stack of books and he would tell me which ones to play. He still kicked my butt; I dealt him a 28 once. When he was dying, and fighting for every breath of air, I leaned over him to tell him good bye and he blessed me. HE blessed ME. Still brings tears to my eyes. I hope to see him again.

DanHolohan

I wrote this as part of a PM column in January 2000.

(Steve Smith had asked us to write about our heroes.)

I have a dear friend whose wife suffers from multiple sclerosis. I’ve known these two for years, and when we first met, she was young, and strong, and beautiful – just like that young woman in the Chicago Marathon. This terrible disease, however, crept into their lives and robbed her of just about all the functions that the nerves in a human body control. There is no logic to this. They did nothing to cause it. It’s just something that happens. Who can possibly begin to understand something as cruel as MS?

Nowadays, she no longer moves on her own. She loses her sight from time to time. It goes away without warning, and then returns to tease her cruelly until the next time it happens. She needs to be cared for during the day while my friend goes to work. When he returns from work, he takes care of her. She lies in bed and remembers how it once felt to dance. While I was running through the streets of Chicago last October 24, I thought of her often and, in the rhythm of my steps, I thanked God over and over and over again for my legs, and for that one day. I could run on two good legs. I could breathe in and out, and I could see this beautiful world with both of my eyes. How lucky I am!

I was at some industry trade show a while ago, and while there, I ran into my friend. An acquaintance we hadn’t seen in a while stopped by his booth and asked my friend about his wife. My friend, who has never once complained about his situation, brought our mutual acquaintance up to date. “Man, I don’t how you deal with that,” the guy said, shaking his head sadly. “Most guys would walk away from a situation like that. You know, put her in a nursing home and get on with life.”

My friend looked at our acquaintance and smiled at him with practiced patience. There was no anger whatsoever in him. He just said, very softly, “You have to understand, she’s my best friend. And there was once a day when we made a vow to each other. For richer, for poorer. For better, for worse. In sickness and in health . . .” And he said no more after that. He didn’t have to.

That’s a hero.

(We went to her funeral this morning. Mario cared for Helene for 23 years at home. He was helped by a wonderful woman named Marie who said that she would work for him for two weeks and then stayed for 10 years. I asked her why last night and she told me that it was because she had never seen a man so love a woman. Mario was comforting US at her funeral today. He is the most unselfish person I have ever met. And he is the best man I have ever known.)

Steve Ebels

Mario

Sounds like he learned long ago the simple truth that the more love you give the more love you receive. He has truly paid it forward. My hat is off to him and he'll be in my prayers. I'm sure he still needs them after losing his precious soulmate.

J.C.A.

Steve,

Couldn't have said that better . Thoughts and prayers . Chris

Mad Dog

When a MAN loves a woman.............

What a great man that is Dan...my feelings exactly about my wife...it ain't easy being married to Mad Dog...but he will be loyal till the end and Barbara knows it. The man should be an inspiration to all man...Mad Dog

To Learn More About This Contractor, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Contractor"

Brian (Tankless) Wood

Sometimes I think

that heating-help is a secondary reason for the existence of this site.

If people don't matter, nothing matters.

That story made me cry, Dan. Such love and loyalty is not so un-common or rare as is believed, and thank God for that. There are still strains of love, honesty and decency, running through the average person, that keep the family first.

God bless families, and those that love.

Brian.

Michael B

My wife

always asks me why I read and participate on "the wall" so much. I just went up stairs got her out of bed and had her read Dan's touching tribute to this great man. She now understands...

PJO

Wow...

May I strive to someday be anywhere whithin a million miles of that man. He is the pinnacle of mankind.

Excellent article Dan.

Take Care, PJO

Dan m_2

The real thing

Funny thing about Heros , People watch Tv looking for one. They think they should look like Tom Cruse and fight like Steven Segall. We admire the wrong people for the wrong things. 911 showed us what heros do and where they come from , Nowhere and any where. My Dad Helped take a bridge in Holland and later on jumped behind german lines At D-Day He was the real Deal. I Put your friend in that group too, That kind of devotion sends a message to people looking for good in mankind ,Its their and might be standing next to you. I dont Know your friend but tell him thanks