Friday Night Joke....

Bob W._2

good joke... and this is nothing like a good joke.

Use your best Norvegian or Skandahoovian accent:

Ole and Lena wanted to join a church. The Pastor tells them that to be a member of the church they must learn self control. "Now Lena and Ole, says the Pastor, we don't allow smoking in this church. You give up smoking and come back in a month if you still want to join." A month later Ole and Lena come back to church. The Pastor says, "Well, did you quit smoking?" "Ya, says Lena, it vas hard but ve did it. Ve tink ve are ready to join your church." "Well", says the Pastor, "we don't allow any drinking in this church either. Can you give that up for a month. "Ya, sure, says Ole, ve can do dat". So a month goes by and they again come to church. "Well" says the Pastor, "did you give up drinking?" "Ya, says Lena, ve did. It vas mighty hard the first weekend but ve fought it all the way. Ve tink ve are ready now to join" "Well" says the Pastor, "to be a member of this church you must show self control over your bodies. You must give up marital relations for a month! Do you think you can do that?" "Ya, says Ole, ve do." "Good" says the Pastor, "come back in a month and we'll see." Well, a month goes by and one day Lena and Ole show up at church. The Pastor asks them how they did. Ole looked down at the ground. "Vell" says Ole, "ve ver doing good the first 3 veeks. Ten, one day, Lena vas leaning over to get the cottage cheese, and..and, I joost couldn't help myself." Lena and Ole couldn't look up. The Pastor said "I'm sorry, but you can't come back to this church."
- "oh, dats OK" says Ole, "de von't let us back in the A&P either."

jfox

Friday night amusement

RULES FOR CUTTING YOUR OWN FIREWOOD

1. Park twice as far from the tree as the tree is tall.
2. Never park downhill from the tree you are cutting down.
3. The fact that you live within driving distance of a forest does not make you a lumberjack.
4. Just to be on the safe side, always borrow your buddy's truck.