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Friday Joke

PJO
PJO Member Posts: 140
Gents (and ladies that hopefully won't be offended),

Here's a ditty I found...seems as though I am posting chauvinist jokes but, honestly, I'm not that way :-) I also apologize in advance for the (slight) crudeness, but IMHO it is funny.

I have added #21 for you Wallies. Enjoy the holiday. PJO


Twenty Things You May Never Hear Your Woman Say

1-You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2- The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too! I invited her over for
dinner on Friday.

3- Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

4- While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on the fourth down and missed.
If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still recover.

5- Bar food again!? All right!

6- That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to
her.

7- Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with
it anymore.

8- I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

9- Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a**!

10- I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

11- You are so much smarter than my father.

12- If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

13- You're so sexy when you're hungover.

14- I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

15- Honey, our new neighbor's 18-year-old daughter is sunbathing in the nude
again, come see!

16- No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

17- Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself
something.

18- Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you take time off to
relax?

19- You need your sleep, you big silly guy, now stop getting up for the baby's
nightly feedings.

20- Look! My butt is fatter than yours!

21- Honey, the boiler's off again...I'll take care of it after I get your beer!

Comments

  • DanHolohan
    DanHolohan Member, Moderator, Administrator Posts: 16,492
    Number 22

    Why don't you go spend some more time with your buddies on the Wall. I don't mind.
    Retired and loving it.
  • ScottMP
    ScottMP Member Posts: 5,884
    # 23

    NO No, Honey, November 23 sounds like a great learning experience ... you go and learn as much as you can to help your business.

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  • PJO
    PJO Member Posts: 140
    Go Dan go...

    I can see this list growing. I don't get too much time at home for The Wall unfortunately...early weekend mornings is about it...but it is definitely a good one!

    #24 - Honey, I'll drive back and forth to the gathering in Mass. and you can put a dent in the cooler!

    Take Care, PJO
  • DanHolohan
    DanHolohan Member, Moderator, Administrator Posts: 16,492
    #25

    And I won't go into Boston and spend money while you're hanging out with the brightest people in the business. I'll just wait for you in the room
    Retired and loving it.
  • Gary Fereday
    Gary Fereday Member Posts: 427
    #26

    I got my CDL today, I Can rent you a bus and be the designated driver for "Wetstock!
  • Joannie
    Joannie Member Posts: 96
    Am I Offended?

    It's hard to be offended when it's this accurate.

    Although, if numbers 4 and 14 referenced Winston Cup instead of football, they'd have to come off the list.

    Happy Friday everyone!
  • Mike T., Swampeast MO
    Mike T., Swampeast MO Member Posts: 6,928
    #26 and #27

    "Honey, I paid off the credit card with the money I saved doing my own hair and nails. I have shoes I haven't even worn and don't need any new clothes this year. Go have fun in 'tool land.'"

    "I cleaned out a space in the closet just for you."
  • Steve Ebels
    Steve Ebels Member Posts: 904
    #28

    Comeon hon!! That *($^(*%)@ pulled right out in front of you!!! Get right up on his butt and make sure all he see's is your headlights!!!

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  • ScottMP
    ScottMP Member Posts: 5,884
    O.K.

    #29 Oh I don't care how long it takes for the bathroom/heating system, as long as its done right. You just take your time.

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  • DanHolohan
    DanHolohan Member, Moderator, Administrator Posts: 16,492
    #30

    The Lost Art of Steam Heating! What a wonderful anniversary gift! How did you know this is exactly what I wanted?
    Retired and loving it.
  • joel_4
    joel_4 Member Posts: 42
    #31

    "That genuine Cubic Zirconia anniversary band looks so real my friends will never know. Lets take the money you saved and upgrade the control on our Viessmann"!
  • joel_4
    joel_4 Member Posts: 42
    #32

    " No, I don't want to see the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, lets go to the new Bond movie with Hally Berry instead"
  • Mike Kraft
    Mike Kraft Member Posts: 406
    #33.............

    Honey,why dont you lay in the hammock.I'll go under the house and finish the crawl.........if you need a sandwich or a cool drink just ring this bell:)

    cheese
  • steve gates
    steve gates Member Posts: 329
    I'm so glad

    you have taken 8 years to remodel the back bathroom. If you would have hurried it would look this nice
This discussion has been closed.