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Friday Joke

PJO Member Posts: 140
Gents (and ladies that hopefully won't be offended),

Here's a ditty I found...seems as though I am posting chauvinist jokes but, honestly, I'm not that way :-) I also apologize in advance for the (slight) crudeness, but IMHO it is funny.

I have added #21 for you Wallies. Enjoy the holiday. PJO

Twenty Things You May Never Hear Your Woman Say

1-You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2- The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too! I invited her over for
dinner on Friday.

3- Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

4- While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on the fourth down and missed.
If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still recover.

5- Bar food again!? All right!

6- That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to

7- Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with
it anymore.

8- I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

9- Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a**!

10- I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

11- You are so much smarter than my father.

12- If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

13- You're so sexy when you're hungover.

14- I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

15- Honey, our new neighbor's 18-year-old daughter is sunbathing in the nude
again, come see!

16- No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

17- Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself

18- Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you take time off to

19- You need your sleep, you big silly guy, now stop getting up for the baby's
nightly feedings.

20- Look! My butt is fatter than yours!

21- Honey, the boiler's off again...I'll take care of it after I get your beer!


  • DanHolohan
    DanHolohan Member, Moderator, Administrator Posts: 16,492
    Number 22

    Why don't you go spend some more time with your buddies on the Wall. I don't mind.
    Retired and loving it.
  • ScottMP
    ScottMP Member Posts: 5,884
    # 23

    NO No, Honey, November 23 sounds like a great learning experience ... you go and learn as much as you can to help your business.

    To Learn More About This Contractor, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Contractor"
  • PJO
    PJO Member Posts: 140
    Go Dan go...

    I can see this list growing. I don't get too much time at home for The Wall unfortunately...early weekend mornings is about it...but it is definitely a good one!

    #24 - Honey, I'll drive back and forth to the gathering in Mass. and you can put a dent in the cooler!

    Take Care, PJO
  • DanHolohan
    DanHolohan Member, Moderator, Administrator Posts: 16,492

    And I won't go into Boston and spend money while you're hanging out with the brightest people in the business. I'll just wait for you in the room
    Retired and loving it.
  • Gary Fereday
    Gary Fereday Member Posts: 427

    I got my CDL today, I Can rent you a bus and be the designated driver for "Wetstock!
  • Joannie
    Joannie Member Posts: 96
    Am I Offended?

    It's hard to be offended when it's this accurate.

    Although, if numbers 4 and 14 referenced Winston Cup instead of football, they'd have to come off the list.

    Happy Friday everyone!
  • Mike T., Swampeast MO
    Mike T., Swampeast MO Member Posts: 6,928
    #26 and #27

    "Honey, I paid off the credit card with the money I saved doing my own hair and nails. I have shoes I haven't even worn and don't need any new clothes this year. Go have fun in 'tool land.'"

    "I cleaned out a space in the closet just for you."
  • Steve Ebels
    Steve Ebels Member Posts: 904

    Comeon hon!! That *($^(*%)@ pulled right out in front of you!!! Get right up on his butt and make sure all he see's is your headlights!!!

    To Learn More About This Contractor, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Contractor"
  • ScottMP
    ScottMP Member Posts: 5,884

    #29 Oh I don't care how long it takes for the bathroom/heating system, as long as its done right. You just take your time.

    To Learn More About This Contractor, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Contractor"
  • DanHolohan
    DanHolohan Member, Moderator, Administrator Posts: 16,492

    The Lost Art of Steam Heating! What a wonderful anniversary gift! How did you know this is exactly what I wanted?
    Retired and loving it.
  • joel_4
    joel_4 Member Posts: 42

    "That genuine Cubic Zirconia anniversary band looks so real my friends will never know. Lets take the money you saved and upgrade the control on our Viessmann"!
  • joel_4
    joel_4 Member Posts: 42

    " No, I don't want to see the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, lets go to the new Bond movie with Hally Berry instead"
  • Mike Kraft
    Mike Kraft Member Posts: 406

    Honey,why dont you lay in the hammock.I'll go under the house and finish the crawl.........if you need a sandwich or a cool drink just ring this bell:)

  • steve gates
    steve gates Member Posts: 329
    I'm so glad

    you have taken 8 years to remodel the back bathroom. If you would have hurried it would look this nice
This discussion has been closed.