Favorite customer quotes

ed wallace

best one I ever had a scientest from MIT saturday ofdelibretly labor day weekend old williamsom furnace 9 in smoke pipe a 90 elbow in pieces wanted it duct taped together so he could turn on the heat its 70 degrees out can you duct tape it till tuesday me oops i stepped on it delibertly do you want to burn down your house

Timco

OK, I'll get this started. Call last night about a steam boiler.

"4 years ago we only had to add water to it once a day, now we have to add water 3-4 times a day so we thought there might be a problem..."

What is your favorite? I look at this boiler in an hour & intend to flood it...

Tim

Mark Custis

Mine

"I only hit the reset on the primary control twice."

Mark Eatherton

The \"Foot Ball\" .....

A.K.A. Emergency After Hours Pager. Historically, we would take turns checking our answering system on weekends to make sure we didn't leave anyone stranded without heat and hot water too long. Residentially, most people understand. On multi family dwellings, people have NO tolerance for such shortages, and we have tripled our MFD over the last few years, hence the Emergency After Hours pager.

We've had it for about a month. It is rotated between the owner, one of our leaders and our service man. It was in transition one night last week. The leader had brought it back for the owner, but the owner wouldn't be back to pick it up until the following day, so the service man took it home over night.

He said about 3:30 in the morning, he heard beeping in his sleep. His wife got up and ripped the smoke detector off the ceiling and ripped the batteries out of it and threw it on the floor. They went back to sleep. About 4:00 AM, the beeping started again. His wife, P.O.'d about getting woke up by the smoke detector again, went to her daughters room to sleep with her. The service man sleeps like a log. About an hour later, he woke up to go to work, and heard the single beep that lets you know you have a page waiting for you, and realized it was the PAGER that was beeping in the middle of the night, and NOT the smoke detector. Pretty hilarious eh... Hang on, it gets better...

He calls the pager recorder and hears on the other end of the line, a paciked voice screaming "THIS IS MRS BLAHBLAHBLAH AND WE CAN HEAR OUR HEATING PIPES VIBRATING AND POPPING AND JUMPING, we need HELP right away!! I think my boiler is going to explode Call us back at xxx-xxx-xxxx."

He quickly calls her back, and she calmly states, "Never mind... Our daughters new electric tooth brush had fallen into the bath tub and had turned itself on. The heating system is working just fine...."

Some peoples kids, I'm telling you...

ME

Lyle {pheloa} Carter

I've got the oppisite problem on muti-families there is always some single guy too busy working when the season starts to call and say he has no heat . The unit drops to about 55 or 60 so he lives with it .Untill the first major snow storm and he can't get out roads are too bad . Thats when he calls managment and says I've had no heat all season I need someone now because I'm home . Good thing managment pays for this last year 4 hours to drive 24 miles round trip to unstick a Danfoss TRV.

klaus

After hours

Our "normal business hours" are 7 - 3:30. Seems to never fail, and usually on the coldest/ hottest days, we get a call at 3:00 pm. I have to have someone over right away to fix my heat/ AC, it's been on the fritz since 9:00 this morn!

The other one: on call service guy gets a call from the security guard at 1 AM, It's getting cool in here, can we schedule a service guy to be here at 7 AM? Needless to say our service guys don't do the scheduling. A few of them are less than cordial (imagine!).

Paul Fredricks_11

this one

I get a no heat call. Call the customer and asked if they tried the reset button. They say yes, but nothing happened. I ask if they have checked all the switches to make sure they are on. Getting a little frustrated that I haven't gotten in my van yet, they say yes, they tried everything.

I get to the house, walk over to the basement stairs, see that the switch is off, turn it on and the unit starts. The customer says, TO ME, "Who turned that off?" How the hell should I know???

Derheatmeister

Had one the Other day:This viessmann boiler is not WORKING!!!it is locked up!

The first thing i asked:Do you have Propane in the Tank??

IT IS FULL they say!!

Just to find the tank at 5%!!

OR:Everything was working before "You Guys" did your Heat inspection!I allmost "Fired" a customer over that today.

Nowadays when a Customer says: "Everything was working fine yesterday".. I respond:But of course otherwise i would not be here Today!

Mike Dunn

I just got this one on a water heater change out

Customer: "My water isn't very hot"

Me: "Is the heater gas or electric?"

Customer: "Gas"

Me: "Does it have a plastic venting system that exits the side of the house or does it vent out a metal chimney out the roof?"

Customer: "plastic out the side of the house"

Get there and it's electric

ed wallace

customer quotes

you just serviced my unit now I have no heat serviced 6 months ago

I have no heat got deliver last week check tank delivery was 2 months ago where did oil go to must be leaking into the floor

Perry_5

The homeowner's perspective... (since I'm not a contractor)...

I expect that this is under warranty as your company is the only one who has ever worked on it and you have done the warranty required annual service (even if it is a 30 year old boiler).

I've been waiting all day for you - and I was told you would be here by 9:00. I expect you to subtract my lost wages from your bill...


You're shop is just 1 block away... $45 for a service call - it didn't take you 2 minutes to get here...

You broke it.... (the stuff you had to move to get to the furnace or boiler).

Why don't you have the parts (standard a gas thermocouple); and you expect me go without heat for another day, to take off work another day, and pay another service call for you to come back? Note I've actually experienced this one - and those were my basic comments. I'm a little more understanding about rare product specific parts... The hardware store a few blocks away had thermocouples in stock - and all it took was about 10 minutes to get one.

------

I hope I've covered the bases.


Perry

Jim Pompetti

No heat

Gave the customer a bid for a new boiler 3 years ago. She wanted it to last just one more season , 20° out the heater dies . Our call was, We got a estimate from you some time back , and we are having company for the weekend . Can you install the heater tonight? It was 7PM , told them it would be impossible. Of course she was angry when we told her no ,best we could do is 2days.


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bob_46

Service

When they complain about the price of service and travel time, just tell them " I'ts a lot cheaper if you bring your boiler to our shop"

J.C.A._3

Big Jim Hit IT!

Without a doubt MY Favorite...

"Can you make it last just 1 more year?".

I get the funniest looks when I say... NO.

Remember the 30 year old Bryant steamer Mad Dog replaced last week? TRY to get any of the gas train parts for that in 1 day!!!! If at all.

"You were just here" is always a good one too. Yep..we were just here. The guy replaced the toilet. Chris

burnerman_2

so many which do I choose

It was fine til you cleaned it.It has been doing this since you cleaned it (3 months ago) now it's sun and I need it fixed. Can you get it running til spring then I'll replace it. (4 years later same call same tag line)you were here 10 minutes and you are charging how much!!!(forget the fact we drove to thier house had the part and came on a holiday.

Mitch_6

Some of my best

I understand you cannot do the job in the time frame I need but can you give me a quote anyways so I know what prices to look for.

On this one keep in mind I own the company.
"that sounds aufully expensive how much if you come by and do it after work"

We only guarantee fist calls 8:00 - 8:30 since we never know what we will find we also stop at 4:30 if we are lucky. So we get a call asking for 9:00 we say first call is 8:00 - 8:30 after that we do not know when the tech will be available, the come back is ok how about 9:15 then we go through the explanation again the reply is ok how abut 4:15.


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Glen

or on the other side

"I have reset it 70 or 80 times - and it still won't light" Now that was an interesting service call.

Steve Ebels_3

Mark C

They usually say that while standing there with you watching smoke and flame billowing from every crack and crevice on their heating unit. Been there, done that, lost the eyebrows to prove it.

burnerman_2

I had one tues nite no lie guy was dressed like a pirate his buddy was well femenine you get the idea told the h/o it was old needed updated no way it's not leaking water ok after it lites (replaced a transformer) it smoked and yes every crack and all over the basement he seemed delighted I got the h*** out of there.

Jim Bennett

Years ago.....

in a restaurant.

"FIFTY DOLLAR AN HOUR!!! I GET TWO MEN WORK ALL DAY FOR FIFTY DOLLAR"

Dave Yates (GrandPAH)_2

Easter Day

Restaurant owner - after we quoted the price to replace the commercial water heater - on the holiday day itself: "You clook, you clook! I not pay you." OK sir, no problem, get someone else. He's screaming, I'm being politely composed and we hadn't even done any of the work - just quoted the price.

6 months later? He's in federal prison for tax evasion(G). Clook indeed!

frankiewrench

Customers

Upon opening the door to admit me for the initial visit, I wuz asked how long I'd be.
After we replaced an old Holland Furnace w/baseboard, boiler,w/h, etc. the elderly woman told there are too many pipes down there!! You guys remember those Hollands? Metal octopus' AHH CUSTOMERS, Ya gotta love 'em elsewise we'd be unemployeed. Not ready for that yet.

joel_19

no classics???

"the checks in the mail"

"My husband has the check book"

"Yes, my husband has all the credit cards too"

"We'll be there between 10-12" by 10:15 most are calling screaming "your late!"

"I can by that part online for less"

Mark Hunt_6

That's a pretty good list Perry


I've heard all of them.

Good to see your posts here again.

Mark H

Darrell_5

"My brother-in-law, (or some other male relative/friend) worked on it all day but it still won't work."

"I've replaced everything that I know to do, and it still don't work."

"Why is this bill so much? You said the parts were XXXX, I know, but, what is this labor charge?"

"I never met any man worth 105.00 an hour in my life!" "I'm sorry, didn't I introduce my self when I came in?"

My personal favorite, "My heat doesn't work...my husband tried to fix it...can you come and fix it and make it look like you were never here? I'll pay cash and he won't be home until six."

Dave Stroman

When I told the lady that this boiler had to go, she said, "can't you just do an emisions test and tune it up"?

Dave Stroman

Perry_7

Of course you could have offered

Of course you could have offered to reinstall the old coal grates and get her a shovel (I am fairly certain that this boiler was desiged for chunk coal - not a stoker).

I used to clean and fix things like this in the 70's when I was a teenager - and when they really were buring coal.

It was good money - if you did not mind getting really dirty.

Perry

Bob Bona_4

can't you just.....

I'll get the parts and you install..

Oh my Godda, I gotta two drops of oila on the floor..my house-a gonna explode, I can't-a sleep tonight, you-a come out now..(2 am)..

masonary chiminey...

I went downstairs and saw a fire inside my furnace..so I shut it off and called you quick!!!

I just got oil today, and now there's no heat!

It's a Beckett furnace!

I wish I was getting xxx per hour like you..

Air filter? what air filter?

I don't go down/up there..it's nasty!

I got no heat! (do you have power?) No!, but I got no heat!

Booderus boilers.

Mr. Weil McClain is calling (heard over the PA, from the receptionist)

The last guy said it would last FOREVER!

Look, the tag says it's running 82 PERCENT!

He doesn't bite.

Me: could you turn up your thermostat, Ma'am? Her: How far? (Me thinking: to 76.3756 degrees)

Bob Bona_4

'specially

when it was an RA117 stack relay.

ha ha.

Tombig_2

how many times...

How many times have we heard this?

"I turned the thermostat up to 85* and it's still only 62* in here."

Steve M_2

The classic

Well I'm an engineer and I know what's wrong with it. I got this reply from a fellow tech. Ahhh, an engineer, I love trains too!

Norm Harvey

My favorite is said while standing in front of the boiler, hand tools strewn everywhere,... "I normaly work on this myself"

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an old wrench puller

how bout the guy who said:

" Your dad put that in when I built the house, Your gona fix it under warrenty, right?" It was a wore out Honeywell zone valve, Dad put it in over 30 years before. Some people are never happy.

Big Will

customer put in his own water heater

said the man at Lowes said I don't need a permit.
Another GC put in his own radiant floor system. Used a Noritz tankless for a boiler. He calls noritz and ends up with us for a potential warranty repair. The heater is making a whistling noise. He had the Honeywell super vent horizontal. He said the guy at the supply house said to do it that way.

ttekushan_3

good ones

"Is that a problem?" the project manager asks. This was in response to my call to report that the 150 HP steam heating boiler won't function since the electricians cut out all the ODR and room sensor wiring when they were removing some of the old building wiring.

"It was no good. Kept goin' off." the maintenance guy explains as to why a nice CO detector was in the trash barrel. I then turn the corner into the boiler room to see a CI steam boiler that had dry fired at some point, melted part of the base and was melting all control wiring. It was firing intermittently, with flames rolling right out of the front, melting the steel boiler jacket!

And this one really frosts my shorts since its from 5:00 pm this Christmas Eve: "Do you plan to charge us since you caused it? You were the last one here working on anything." The problem? A burst water line that a plumber expediently ran across the ceiling of a parking breezeway, wrapped with a pipe warming coil that's powered by a series of extension cords -if anyone remembers to plug them in! There was no hot water since the tanks were run out from the rupture. Perhaps that steam line 5 feet away made the connection in their minds between temps 31 degrees below freezing and me. I certainly was there before -in the boiler room after *(@#*$~ midnight two days before at the end of a long day to --this might get technical-- turn up the heat a bit since the zero and 1 degree temps along with high winds had allowed two apartments to drop to an apparently miserable 67 degrees! I showed up very soon after their call on Christmas eve on the off chance that it was a steam leak, but then did them the favor of repairing a water line instead, which is something I don't ordinarily do. Want insult to injury? They've told tenants that the steam guy (that would be me) caused their hot water to run out for nearly 24 hours up to Christmas Eve. I feel like letting the air out of their tires! BTW, the water line in question is newer copper with several repairs. This is apparently a regular occurrence. I suspect they knew what they were doing when they called me.

-Terry

Steve Ebels_3

I'm sure you've all heard these in some form

(Steve) What brand of furnace do you have?

(Customer) Honeywell.

I'm always at a loss for words when that happens


"It was working fine yesterday and today it just quit with no warning"

"Air filter?...... There's an air filter on it?"

From a guy with an outdoor wood boiler who has a 2 foot wide strip of green grass through the snow from the boiler to the house......."I just can't figure out why it burns so much wood".


"But my buddy said.........."

tommyoil

\"Hey...wait a minute....\"

"You forgot your tip"

[Deleted User]

Let me set it up first -
Old piece of junk you've been telling the customer needs replacement. It finally gives out. You tell the customer that it now needs replacement.
"You guys have been servicing this for years and nobody has told me it should be replaced." -Or-
"The last guy never said anything"
My response -
"Yes he did. I was the last guy."

GREG LAUER

clook

Dave I think he tryed us that night too!

Customer:You must come fix my pool unit the ceiling is wet and ready to fall down. there is mold on the walls when can you come out?
Dispatcher: well sir we can't get anyone one out to you till Monday or Tuesday unless you would like us to look at this after hours.
Customer: I can't wait can't you come sooner? the walls have mold.
Dispatcher: Did you say the walls had mold?
Customer YES
DISPATCHER: SIR HOW LONG HAS THIS UNIT NOT BEEN RUNNING?
Customer: OH ABOUT A MONTH!
NOW IT IS AN EMERGENCY? OH AND THEY DID NOT WANT OVERTIME.

SO HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS WILL LAST?

i CAN HAVE MY BROTHER FIX IT AND HE CAN GET THE PARTS ONLINE CHEAPER.

I tryed to do this myself and..........

the one I' ve only heard about yet never experianced
the check is on the nightstand baby.

DanHolohan

How about this one from a bunch of contractors over the years.

"I don't need to buy the whole book. Can you just photocopy the pages I need and mail them to me? And then if I have more questions, I'll call you. It's free, right?"

GREG LAUER

hey dan

it is free.......isnt it?????

well is it broke? no mam the flames shooting out of the front panel are totally normal. heres your sign.

or just the other day... I went out to give a lady a quote on replacing her OIL FURNACE when she said...and this is priceless. I turned it off last night cause I smelled gas!
Here's your sign need I say more