Made Me Laugh

will smith_4

Here in Chicago (near outskirts, actually), we get some pretty cold weather here and again. Not as cold of late as I'd like personally, but we can't argue with Mother Nature. About a month or so ago, we did have a good snap for a bit, and if you forgot your sniffle gear and had to work outside, it was a little on the painful side. We've all been there.
Anyway, at the end of an exceptionally cold Saturday, I stopped in to a little bar down the street for a libation or two. Just your ordinary rehabbed hole in the wall friends like to stop into to catch up with each other's lives and lies, read the paper, catch a game. I walked in, saw a buddy of mine, bellied up next to him, ordered us a couple of pints. I was there for another pint and it seemed like I wasn't really warming up that much. I thought it might be because I just had the day's chill still about me, so I asked my buddy Danny: "Seem cool in here to you?" To which Danny replied: "Nope-It's COLD. But you gotta hear WHY it's cold. Candy-tell Billy here why it's cold in here."
(Candy is one of our bartenders, and acts as a great mediator between local patrons and the owner of the establishment. An owner that recycles coasters from the garbage cans, thinks complimentary nuts are customers that say "thank you", and still has Beer vendor posters from seven years ago with prices changed via duct tape and Sharpie markers.)
Candy looks over at us, and at Danny's request, tells me that there is nothing wrong with the boiler. Works just fine. The owner was just there to check it himself. The problem with the heat? Candy told me this in a straight face:
" There just aren't enough people in here right now. When more people come in, it will warm up."
Now normally I hold my liquor fairly well. But being mid stream of a drink, with a deadpan (albeit unknowing) comedienne giving me what I take to be one of the classic no heat excuses I've ever heard, along with my friend Danny giving me an immediate cornball facial expression, well, I had a moment. Things came out of my nose that were intended for my liver, but it was worth it.
From now on, no matter the call, I'll always have a secret smile, thinking how much fun it would be to tell the customer that the unit is working fine.
You just need more people in here!

Brian (Tankless)

Please separate you paragraphs

Will.

That was interesting (I think) but hard to follow.

Happy New Year.

Brian, in 62* Swampland.

Tony_23

Must be the owner of a place near here, too

200K LP construction site heater until opening time, then turn on the RTU (undersized), then dancing people (no choice) !

Mark Hunt

I swear


I've been to that bar. Only it is here in NY.

Owner got bids to add a new heating system when he put an addition on the bar. The company I worked for then gave him a quote.(We installers used to load that place EVERY night after work)

Well the owner took one look at the quote from the company I worked for and had a good laugh. Twice what the other guy was bidding and the other guy was putting a bigger roof-top. So for the next few weeks the gang and I would have fun drinking beer while the poor installers from the other company worked OT to get the job completed on time. We would stand there in our company uniforms and ask ALL manner of questions. "Can you use red-handled snips if you're left handed???....you get the picture.

Well to make a long story short, the system NEVER worked. The Econo-miser was installed but never wired to any control. It was WIDE open and the cold air dumped in through the ceiling return when the fan shut down. The 7 ton A/C could only get the place to a "chilly" 95 degrees in the summer.

A Ferarri system I called it, with anti-lock brakes. 0 to 95 in 3 seconds and the place cooled down just as fast.

Good story Will!

Mark H

To Learn More About This Professional, Click Here to Visit Their Ad in "Find A Professional"

will smith_4

Alternative sources of heat-

We've decided that if someone is feeling exceptionally cold, three of four us could surround them and do jumping jacks for some spot heat.