disgusting HO's anyone???

Darrell_2

I'm gonna write a book, "Under the Kitchen Sink" about the things I've found under kitchen sinks. I once found 10K cash in a brown bag wedged between the sink bowls...then you gotta ask yourself, "do these people know about this?". I've found momma's Everclear. I've found junior's nooky magazines. I found a 44 magnum. I've found a pipe and needles. I've found alot more than the legal limit of pot. I've found condoms. I've found handdrawn maps to who know where or what. I found grandpa once...or at least that is what the urn said was inside! I once found a pair of wrenches with my initials on them...don't remember ever being at the house, but, they all kinda look the same after awhile!

The sequel will be about the things I've found when I had to move a bed or dresser to get to the baseboard!

Timco

Went to a HO's house...owner of a BBQ joint south of SLC. Yearly service quote. Guy answers the door completely naked..."oh yeah, Timco...come 'on in..." I did not know what to say. I said " I'll give you a minute" and he says "that's allright" and I say "Could you at least grab a robe?" He did. EEEEUUUU!!! As I was leaving, I wanted to say...that took alot of ba___s!!

Tim

Norm Harvey

Why that couldn't have been a 21 year old sorority girl,...

Whats the world coming to!

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Jason_15

HO stories

I work in an industrial plant so I don't see the public. I always enjoy the H.O. stories!! What about people growing weed or other drugs, etc. I'm sure lots of you guys have funny, disgusting, or downright frightening stories. Why not share some of them????

Norm Harvey

I dont have any real good ones, but I like the no heat calls I get.

Norm: "I understand you have a problem with your heat, when is a good time for me to get there and take a look at it?"

HO: "Oh right away! I need you there as soon as possible"

Norm: (slightly confused) "When you say "there" is anyone home at the property?"

HO: (Sounding a little testy) "No, Me and my wife are on our way to work."

Norm: (questioningly) "Well is there a door open at the property or something?"

HO: (very condesending) "No"

Norm: (long pause) "Well you certainly do have a problem!"

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Timco

I have some friends in the Avenues of SLC who have a large home with a duplex, or cottage, behind it. They asked me to hang a ceiling fixture for them. While there, one says " could you come here and give me an opinion?" I walk into the front room and there is a 6-7 foot tall marajuana plant! He asks if it is real, and I say hell yes! One wants the plant gone, but the other wants to let him bring it to a friends...wow! Neither friend of mine could figure out why his 'light' was lighting up the entire hillside at night...or what wattage bulb he had bought!!! It was a 175W multi-vapor hallide type. I have seen bongs & pipes, coke on a dish and once had a contractor direct me to install receptacles on a loft. I climb up there and find a handbag FULL of the hardest core porn one could imagine. When I got back from lunch, he was acting wierd and the bag was gone. He got really wierd when his wife came by. I never said anything.

Tim

Jeff Lawrence_25

Drugs and more...

I used to do a little refrigeration work, mainly on residential beer coolers, as nearly no one else would. I went to a rental house and the guy that came to the door reeked of marijuana. He showed me to the keg cooler in the rec room. There were bongs and mirror trays nearly everywhere! The fan motor on the cooler was bad, and when I went to the van to get the replacement, I swear I saw someone sitting in a car down the road, watching the house.

I was real worried that the police were about to raid the house while I was in there and I'd be guilty by association. Fortunately, it didn't happen, but the gent I went to on my next call asked if I had been smoking reefer...

The next one is just plain gross. Customer calls me for a cooling system check up. I asked him if everything was running fine and he had a concern about the lack of airflow in the master bedroom. Large room over a finished basement, so I couldn't actually look at the duct work, but he assured me that the problem showed up ove a year after the ceiling below was finished. After I made sure everything else was okay, we went to the the room in question. I had my hand-held anemometer and checked a couple of the supplies in the floor and asked if there were any others. He thought so and it was probably under the bed. I shined a flashlight and saw a few used condoms and some magazines against the wall. I handed him the flashlight and he looked. He made no response about anything and I mentioned that the magazines may be blocking the vent since they were below the head of the bed. We pulled the bed out enough for him to remove the magazines. The pictures on the covers of the magazines made me blush! He was totally normal and calm about it, like it was an everyday occurrence. Even if I were to have something like that in my house, I'd be mortified about someone else seeing it!

There's more, but not for now....

Gene_3

I used to go to this guys house

octagonal and the driveway went around the house

there was always a big guy walking around looking out the windows

this really nice Italian guy would come down and say "hey buddy, you gonna do a good job, right?" and reach in his front pocket and give $20-50 BEFORE I STARTED WORK

Now I had better do a good job, and I did!!

I always wondered, then about 10 years later I was reading the paper, there was a 1 page obit and story about this guy, he just past away from natural causes but had been the head of a large area for the Mafia.

He was old school, going back to the times of "Vito" and the old days, the obit had the whole story of his life.

He was really an incredibly nice guy, and one of the best tippers.

I have also been to Art Carneys house, Hepburns, and met Robin Williams while he was renting a house when Mork& mIndy just came out

I have also been in some incredible pits, if I describe you will puke.

Guess it all balances out, eh?

clammy

pig pens

As i read you guys post my mind jumped to all the terriblly dirty homes i have worked in but these to take the cake ,one was anew a/c retro install thehome in a very expensive town was set back very far from the raod good luck too beside the weed ,bongs and about 2 months of kitchen dishes and garbage about the home there was a 10 x 12 ft breeze way with about 100 cases of empty beer aside from about anther 100 in the driveway as myself and partner carred the a/h to the pull down attic stairs one of the residents dogs came into the living room and lifted his leg upon the pool table and relived him self right in front of us and one or two of the residents not a word was said .Another case was a furnace replacement my boss stated clammy this will the fastest replavcement you have ever doen and also jokingly stated to remenber to wipe our feet before leaving the home .Well upon entering the rear door the kitchen looked like yuca flats before after and durning the blast applainces and cabinets all over the place dirty dishes you know so down the basement we went the smell of dog urine and crap was unbelieable we moved very quick as we wheeled the old unit across the basement it just discengrated to nothing only thing left of the bottom setion was the fan motor and rust .The old man sat in the basement with open sewer pit eating dog biskets my partner kept kicking me say hey calm that guys eating dog biskets ,we rwally bolted we changed the furncae out in less then 2 1/2 hours with some new duct work to boot but the best is yet to come upon starting to replace the t/stat i found it at about my bell buttom level why cause the rest of the home had news paper stacked about 2 1/2 ft high ,one bed room was completly full of papers so much that the floor joists where sagged .The rear door entrance was becasue you would need a tanks battering ramm to move the 6 ft stack of paper ever smell dog piss and degrating new s paper ,unbielvable right those are the light waits ones i have had worse but i degrease cause it causes bad dreams peace and good luck clammy

clammy

pig pens

As i read you guys post my mind jumped to all the terriblly dirty homes i have worked in but these to take the cake ,one was anew a/c retro install thehome in a very expensive town was set back very far from the raod good luck too beside the weed ,bongs and about 2 months of kitchen dishes and garbage about the home there was a 10 x 12 ft breeze way with about 100 cases of empty beer aside from about anther 100 in the driveway as myself and partner carred the a/h to the pull down attic stairs one of the residents dogs came into the living room and lifted his leg upon the pool table and relived him self right in front of us and one or two of the residents not a word was said .Another case was a furnace replacement my boss stated clammy this will the fastest replacement you have ever done and also jokingly stated to remenber to wipe our feet before leaving the home .Well upon entering the rear door the kitchen looked like yuca flats before after and durning the blast applainces and cabinets all over the place dirty dishes you know so down the basement we went the smell of dog urine and crap was unbelieable we moved very quick as we wheeled the old unit across the basement it just discengrated to nothing only thing left of the bottom setion was the fan motor and rust .The old man sat in the basement with open sewer pit eating dog biskets my partner kept kicking me say hey clam that guys eating dog biskets ,we really bolted we changed the furncae out in less then 2 1/2 hours with some new duct work to boot but the best is yet to come upon starting to replace the t/stat i found it at about my bell buttom level why cause the rest of the home had news paper stacked about 2 1/2 ft high ,one bed room was completly full of papers so much that the floor joists where sagged .The rear door entrance was becasue you would need a tanks battering ramm to move the 6 ft stack of paper ever smell dog piss and degrating new s paper ,unbielvable right those are the light waits ones i have had worse but i degrease cause it causes bad dreams peace and good luck clammy

S Ebels

People

I guess we should preface this thread by first defining some words. Words like Wierd, Abberant, Slob, Revolting, Strange, Psycho.....those kinds of words.

A few observations from a lifetime of service work:

I can't believe the number of homes with porn of some type lying around. Even homes with small kids. Must be there's not much else to do during winter in Michigan. ???

I was in a house a while ago that the HO was watching a XXX DVD on his 60" flat screen.......which was right in front of the furnace. Fortunately the TV faced away from my work. I won't mention his state of attire. In hindsight, I should have walked out. Ever listen to the soundtrack on a porno movie while trying to change the ignitor on one of those 34" tall Rheem's?...... I didn't think so. It was one of those days when you walk back in your house in the evening and the wife says, "How was your day Hon"? ........ you don't quite know what to say. )

Animals are another issue. Why does it seem that a lot of the time there is a direct correlation between the income level of the HO and the number of animals running around the house? Maybe it's not income.......intelligence would be a better word. The lower the income/intelligence level the more animals are accumulated to compensate for it........or something like that.

Got a call at O:dark thirty in the night a couple years ago. New baby in the house, two other kids sick, no heat. I didn't know the people and had never been there before. It was a mobile home.........why is it always a mobile home??? Anyway, 8 dogs come to greet me when I knock on the door and enter the house. All of which are seriously friendly. Two tried to hump my leg at the same time to show their affection when I got down in front of the furnace.

The furnace of course is in the darkest part of the hallway and the HO says the pilot won't stay lit. I knelt down and began to unscrew the burner when I notice my knees are feeling wet..........did I mention that the place smells like a kennel? I looked up at the ceiling praying silently that I would see signs of a leak, but no, all is dry up there. Which means I am kneeling on carpet that is saturated by dog piss.......As Borat would say, Atsa NIIIIICE! I went back to the van and retrieved a plastic drop cloth to kneel on and commenced to change the thermocouple in record time........ And they wondered why the kids were sick.

I could write a book..........

Tony_23

Locally famous

There was a lady everyone called "The Chicken Lady". This wasn't because she ate a lot of chicken. She kept them where she could get the eggs easiest, in an upstairs bedroom. In the winter she would keep baby lambs and goats in another room to increase the survival rate.

The first time I ever worked there, my brother was with me. He went out and puked when she started boiling Dad's on the stove and threw in some eggs that had hair growing out of the shells. She said she didn't want to waste a pot of boiling water so she might as well hard boil some eggs for herself while she cooked the terrier's food.

The last time, I found out how deep the chicken s*#t was in that bedroom. Fourteen inches. A 1/2" copper line ran thru there about an inch off the floor. It froze when the power went out for 4 days. Power on, pump on, heat on. Ceiling came down, filled the floor furnace with "liquidus". Cleaning crew left it the first time. That furnace lasted about 3 months and looked like swiss cheese, the lorraine style. We changed it in 45 minutes.

Funny thing was, she'd sell handmade quilts of the highest detail. Just needed to laundromat them a few times before taking them home

Poor old lady died in a nursing home, clean.

Irony. The security code for my post ends "pew". That's too much

realolman

Ya know

this stuff truly is funny. You should write a book.

Mark Hunt

\"Markism\" # 3

"A persons sanity is inversely proportional to the number of cats they have."

Went on a sales lead several years ago to a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I rang the doorbell and as soon as the HO opened the front door........it hit me. The smell of cat urine. The house was very nice inside, but the cats did not use a litter box. They went wherever they happened to be at the time. While I was measuring a rad in the master bedroom, a cat jumped up on the bed and defecated on the pillow. I kid you not. The basement?? Little fury clumps EVERYWHERE. HO seemed oblivious to it. I told him he would have to clean the floor up before my guys came back to install the boiler. He did, but the smell was still there.

Did a job for a woman once where we replaced her old gravity boiler with a W-M EG boiler and I was told by the sales rep to leave it gravity. Only one I have ever done like that. The lady owned the two family house. She lived on the second floor and the first floor apt. was for..............you guessed it..the cats. About 5 years after I installed the system I got a phone call from the nice lady. I was in sales now, not in the installation dept. She remembered my name and asked to speak with me. Phone call as follows but I will not post her real name:(I swear I am not making this up)

HO: Mark, this is Mary Smith and you installed a boiler for me a few years back. Do you remember me?

Me: Yes I do. What can I do for you?

HO: Is my boiler programmed to do anything other than heat my house?

Me: Uhhhh.....no. It just heats your house.

HO: Well is there any way some one else could turn my boiler on?

Me: Uhh....no. Only the thermostat can turn your boiler on and off.

HO: Well is there a way that someone could control my thermostat?

Me: Uhhhhh....no Mary. Only you can do that.
(This is where she completely loses it)

HO: WELL I THINK THAT DRUG DEALERS AND CRACK SMOKERS ARE CALLING MY HOUSE AND TURNING MY BOILER ON!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Uhhh......Mary. Do you want me to come by and have a look?

HO (calm as can be): Why that would be great Mark. Tomorrow at 10:00am?

Me: See you then.

Now I did remember this lady and she was a nice as nice gets when we installed her boiler. I got hold of the sales rep that I did the install for back then and told him about the phone conversation. He chuckled and suggested I call the nice lady's dad. I got hold of the father and told him about the conversation. He was quiet for a minute then said, "She said that?". "Yes sir" I answered and told him that I was going to have a look at the system the next day. I did not go alone.

Get to the house and Mary greets us at the door with a big smile though she looked like she was ready to cry. we went up to her apartment and I fiddled with the t-stat. Then I suggested that we go have a look at the boiler and she agreed. When we got to the boiler, I asked her to go and turn the t-stat up. When she went back upstairs, I tore a piece of aluminum foil out of a pack of smokes and wound it around the stat wire going into the boiler. When she returned I pointed to it and said this:

"Mary, I put a filter on the control wire so if anyone tries to turn your boiler on again the signal will be blocked. But in this day and age with computers and all, it might not work forever. If this happens again, you should call the FBI because what the drug dealers and crack smokers are doing is against FCC rules. The Feds have the equipment to track down the signal and take the criminals to jail".

She thanked me and asked where to find the FBI phone number. I told her it would be listed in the blue pages of her phone book. We left.

About two years later, I read about her in the newspaper. She was removed from her house and placed in a mental health facility. 47 cats were removed from the first floor apartment.

Markism #3: "A persons sanity is inversely proportional to the number of cats they have."

Mark H

P.S. My M.I.L has four cats.

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Mad Dog_2

That guy is a loser

I would not have even gone in. An Old Time foreman I once worked with worked in The Lennon's Dakota Apartment. John would ramble down in to the kitchen - completely nude -around 11am "....mornin' mates..can I get ya some coffee?" He said John was very generous and great tipper and Yoko was neither. Mad Dog

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Unknown

In my younger days,

I guess I was blessed with Norm`s scenario above! Had alot of fun then, but on the negative side, I made a few trips to the Doctor too!(Chalky stuff used to fix a guy right-up) LOL!

Dave

Jim Bergmann

Home Photos

I had my digital camera in my pocket when I visited the head of neurosurgery for a large hospital in the Ohio area. I snapped a few photos for my students to promote discussion on customer service. The last shot snapped from outside looks like a normal house.

Unknown

Wow Jim,

Being a Dr.(of sorts), I`ve never been married in almost 50 years, but even I don`t live like that!

Dave

lee_7

I have one better. I went to a home to do a complete new a/c install in an older 1970's home. Customer knew we needed access to every room. Went into office and found over 500 child porn photos on desk. Wallpaper on computer screen was two young, i mean YOUNG girls in a very sexual position. MY partner and I finished the day and reported to boss what we found. We were told to not tell anyone. B@llSh!t. We went to local police and reported. House was raided next day. They found close to 2000 pictures and numerous videos on computer. Kicker was he was a school teacher who did private lessons in his home. He went to jail for 1 year and can never have 1 on 1 contact with children again. My former boss was afraid public would think we were snoping in house. This crap on in plain view sitting on top of desk. After getting tons of letters thanking him for his employees guts doing the right thing, he made it sound like it was his idea to turn guy in the whole time. I had a young daughter at the time( now have 2 girls and a baby boy). I could never have lived with myself if I didn't report him and he went on to molest children. there were no reports he ever went beyond pictures and videos.

Unknown

Good for you Lee

you most CERTAINLY did the RIGHT THING! That kind of CRAP is DISGUSTING to say the least! My hat`s off to ya!!!

Dave

gary_6

home owners

I was working in a customers home and from pics on the wall and conversation I could tell the customer was gay. I'm not homophobic and he was a nice guy. The only thing unusual was he asked me 3 or 4 times if I had to use the bathroom. I always wondered if that was one of those code phrases gay guys use to see if you're gay or not. Or who knows maybe he had a hidden camera in there. Just thought it was strange.

S Ebels

I'd be interested in knowing

What are Markism's number 1 and 2?

Darin(in Michigan)_3

Odd Calls

Me and a coworker were asked to survey a site for a furnace changeout. The customer complained of lack of ventilation upstairs so we asked to see the upstairs. How do you work professionally when the homeowner has a topless picture of herself above the bed.

Timco

I grew up in a house full of crap like that one. Mom is OCD. My house was (is) worse! It's tough living with a un-diagnosed OCD parent. Really tough childhood. When she passes, it will be hell. No service techs allowed. I went out there 3 years back and smelled gas outside. (she's in CA) She had not called it in because she was affraid the tech would have to come in!!!It was a major leak! It's tough to this day...

Tim

Steamhead (in transit)

I posted a while back

about a house that was worse than that.... called the health department and they said they'd check on it.... not sure what happened though.

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Unknown

I remember Frank,

what you described was a real mess(but the guy was OK to you though), and you did the right thing (as we knew it "bugged you"), I hope he got some help of some kind.

Dave

Empire_2

Confused customer???

This was a few years ago, but was called to a no heat on an older piece of equipment. It was a landlord tenant situation and the LL stated that I should check in and do what ever needs to be done. Arrived on the job sight, checked in with the woman of the lower apartment and begun doing my work. Job lasted about 2.5 hours and just when I was finishing up, the tenant comes down stairs and said, "Who are you?" I stated that I am the heating tech. that checked in with you a while ago. She flipped out stating that I did not talk to her and she Screamed GET OUT!!!...

This confused the Hell out of me and after leaving the property, I called the owner of the building and she stated that she forgot to tell mew that the tenant a a little on the crazy side, and would I please go back and finish the work..

All I could say was,..."If you come with me I will......

Mike T.

Kevin O. Pulver

I've seen nothing

compared to some of you guys. I do have a funny story though.
A farmer invited us in for a sandwich at noon. As we walked in, rather than the normal lie we've all heard, "excuse the mess, the house usually isn't this bad" he says, "Well, the place is a pit, but what the heck- we live this way."
It was so refreshing, and I've never forgotten it.
I think the chicken story wins whatever award there is.
And the boss who was afraid to turn in the child porn freak is a symptom of why America is in such a mess. Money is more important than principle to too many people. Kevin

Lurkin' Murkin'

Steve - if you were in New Jersey, that guy definitely was hinting about checking out your equipment. In other states, they just use baseball lingo, accompanied by winks and nudges. Hope that helped...

Craig R Bergman

Taking Action

Last winter I was called out in the middle of the night for a no heat in a lower income neighborhood. The HO opened the door releasing a BLAST of urine and fesses odor. Inside were two "pathways" worn through the waste, one to the bedrooms and one to the kitchen. There on the couch were the CUTEST 4 or 5 year old twin girls. I felt such sorrow for those girls having to live in that house. As I made my way to the basement I asked myself what the odds were that the basement would be better than the main floor. I'll tell you...If not for the twins I would have turned around at the bottom of the stairs. The ENTIRE floor was covered with waist!! I quickly replaced the thermocouple, made out the bill and got out of there.

The next day I informed my boss about the nights events and my intention to call Child Protective Services. He made a quick call to the lawyer(CYOA)and got the O.K.

CPS removed the girls from the home that day and the parents were charged with child endangerment. While I HATED the thought of parents loosing their children, I would not have been able to sleep at night knowing those innocent girls were in that house!


Bergy

Luke Lefever_3

About 10 years ago- we get a call from a middle aged lady from out of state saying that her parents live here in town, are elderly, and last night when she talked to them on the phone, they complained that there was no heat, no hot water and had "kind of an odor" coming from the basement, could we go check it out and send her the bill?

Sure, I say, we'll go right over and see what's going on. I'm on the porch and as soon as Mrs. Homeowner opens the screen door I'm nearly thrown off the porch by the stench of sewage. Takes me a couple of seconds to get used to the smell and I ask to see the basement. She says "oh, we don't go down there anymore". I open the door the the basement stairs and raw sewage is lapping at the third stair down.

Turns out the soil pipe from the bathroom broke off and they 've been draining into the basement for God knows how long. I call the septic tank guy who shows up with his BIG truck (like 7500 gallons big), he makes three trips emptying the basement.

We replace the furnace, associated ductwork, water heater. Repair the drain line etc. Spread lime around to kill the stink. Ends up being nearly $8000. (after I called the daughter of course).

They both passed away a couple of years ago- but everytime I drive past that house, I have to wonder how long they lived on top of the septic tank before they happened to mention it to their daughter on the phone that night?

Luke Lefever
Lefever Plumbing & Heating, Inc.
Elkhart, IN

lawrence_2

$8000 sounds cheap.

Mark Hunt

I'll


e-mail them to you.

You want all 100?

Mark H

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Ericjeeper

I am in the window business.

I had a service call to a older fellows home. The head service guy warned me that the old feller was a little nuts.. Well he had a cracked window, I had to go to the inside to remove a trim piece to get the serial number. two large dogs in the house and friendly.. the interior was dark, and I mean dark. had drapes all pulled and cardboard box opened up in front of the window I needed the serial number from. I removed the cardboard and got some light into the room. Thats when I noticed I was standing in dog sh!t, it was everywhere, some dried some fresh..What do you do? the old man lived alone.
I returned a few weeks later to replace the window and there was a young lady trying to clean up the mess.. Bless her heart..I was called fort an estimate one day a young couple she was at work.(I rarely do an estimate without both owners at home but I was in the area)
I am going from room to room measuring their windows.(the husband was getting ready for work) So I am going from room to room finally get to the master bedroom and guess what is laying on the nightstand, well ok it hums) I never made mention of it. left him with a price quote never heard from them.. You know as well as I do. she got home found out I had been there and measured all the windows.. she sees BOB laying on the nightstand and is too embarassed to ever have me back.. LOL
My favorite scenario was two weeks ago. I was installing some windows I sold to an older couple here in town. He asked if me and my helper wanted a sandwhich and soup for lunch.. we said sure.. His place was immaculent. Lo and behold she made us Fried bologna and tomatoe soup. Somedays you just have to love your job.,

Frenchie

ME TOO!

Mark, could you send them to me as well? jjbest2@scj.com Thanks, Jason.