To be read on a bad day

Steve Ebels_3

Ruined another keyboard with coffee spewed all over it. :)

William Faust

A Mechanism to Solve all Problems

Do you like your job as a plumbing and heating pro? Does it make your life exciting? Do people treat you with respect and kindness? Does each day at work bring boundless happiness and hope for a future that can only get better? Is meaning found by YOU in everything you must do? Do you enjoy from your work a beauty of life that resounds deep within, filling your soul with joy?

For many of you, the answer is a sad, unforgiving NO. This is the reason why you should KILL your customers. This is a very important decision for YOU. In fact, it is quite possibly the most important choice you ever will have to make; a revolutionary action that will permanently correct the multitudinous wrongs of your past, changing things FOREVER.

The painful truth is that your customers have slowly and utterly deprived YOU of freedom, insuring your continued existence as a SLAVE. From day one, YOU have unwittingly taken part in a ceaseless effort by THEM to fill your mind with an all-encompassing sense of hopelessness and despair that can only be remedied by your absolute acceptance of slave-hood. Know that to THEM you exist valueless, except as a thrall. This dire state persists. It crushes you down. It may even seem like that's all there is to life.

Through ritualized murder, however, YOU can CHANGE everything. It will make a real difference. All of this depression, strife, worry and sadness will swiftly disappear when you KILL your customers, particularly those who afflict you. Rid yourself of pain by giving it to someone else. KILL as reflection. Why should YOU be the one to suffer? Standing above your VICTIM, you will find yourself overcome by feelings of felicity, bliss and merriment. Ask yourself this: all the anger and pain that you feel, from where did it come? Certainly, you did not will it upon yourself. It came from the outside THEM and traveled inside YOU by THEIR design. Nothing can compare to the sheer ecstasy that you will experience simply by KILLING THEM. The accumulated flaws of your life will vanish as you obtain a new and perfect mystical clarity when you rid the world of these completely useless people. So KILL THEM NOW. KILL your customers for your soul's benefit. They have never really truly cared for you. Don't believe their lies. Do something for YOU, not something for THEM. Why accept anything less than freedom? KILL to liberate your spirit and open your mind. Let the administration of DEATH be your road to salvation. KILL today, KILL for tomorrow.

Yes, your future can begin today at last and KILLING is the only way. There is, in fact, actually nothing wrong with KILLING; it is simply a malignant lie perpetrated by THEM, your customers, to keep YOU in a state of servitude. Don't succumb to their false truths. Respond to YOUR needs. Stop their oppression of your soul and EMPOWER YOURSELF through KILLING them. Rise forever above the curse of mundane existence that they have inflicted upon you and KILL YOUR CUSTOMERS NOW. KILL FOREVER. KILL, KILL, KILL!

Legal Disclaimer: This writing is designed solely to elicit a chuckle in those who like dark humor. The author does not actually want anyone killed; please do not kill. Killing is actually bad and you would have to go to HE-double hockey sticks with no get-out-jail card.

Shane_2

"But really officer, Bill said it was OK. Mrs. Smith was complaining about paying for a full hour when I only worked for 52 minutes. I remembered what Bill said on the Wall and I lost control of my clipboard. It sure made me feel better. I'm not in any trouble am I?"

Troy_3

Oh No

I just reread this thread. See I have ADD and I was so motivated The first time I read it That I acted before finishing. Luckily I only killed one of my customers before I got distracted. I came back to report my glee when I noticed the disclaimer. I sure hope the prison guards treat me better.

Al Corelli_2

A Question for Heloise

How do you get bloodstains off of pipe wrenches?

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Cosmo_3

I think Rhomar makes something for cleaning those stains from aluminum..... Lets ask Hot Rod

Cosmo

Jeff Lawrence_25

Has Dan left already?

the Loonies come out when he's gone, but I think this was a little early...

Al Corelli_2

Great!

Is there a special brush that removes the skin and hair from the steel teeth?

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J.C.A._3

I actually felt that way earlier today....

> the Loonies come out when he's gone, but I think

> this was a little early...

J.C.A._3

I actually felt that way earlier today....

But then I realized that I can only do so much.

If someone I work for doesn't feel that I'm doing the best I can for them....then I'm fighting a losing battle. I want them satisfied, and only then...will I move on.

You can stand on your head and spit nickles for a customer....but there's always the one that wants dimes.

Sometimes it's nothing more than a conflict of interest, and some "additions to the agreed upon job"...but sometimes it'll put you into a state of mindlessness.

I'm guilty, but will fully admit it. Lessons learned. Chris

realolman

I'm