Born to build Daughter........................

[Deleted User]

What SHE wants to do.

Your kids are just about the same age split as mine were when they were growing up, and I too noticed these little "hints" as to their potentials. My kids are all grown up now and doing thier own things, and oddly enough, the traits I saw when they were much younger continue today. The eldest is the book worm. She's now in charge of a multinational hearintg aid companies Southwest region, including around 7 states and 2 countries.

The youngest one is a color analyst. She gets paid BIG bucks to tell people what color their house should be. She's the mechanical one. She also has her own tools that would make most men jealous.

Don't suppress. Nurture.

ME

John Ruhnke

Born to build daughter..............

Hi Everyone,

Its been a while since i posted here. Its hard to find free time lately. I have an interesting subject to talk about. I have two kids and both of them are daughters. My oldest duaghter Megan is five, she loves to dance and sing. She plays the guitar, and loves to get up on the stage. She is artistic and I encourage her. Of course I don't have an artistic bone in my body but I want whats best for her. I'm proud of who she is.

I have another duaghter and she is two. Her name is Emily. I really wanted this child to be a boy so that I could build things with him but it ended up another girl. Lately I have been watching for signs to see who she will be. Do you know those square boxs with the holes in them. She loved to play with them when she was 1 and a half. You know put the round peg in a round hole, square peg in the square hole and such. I was curious to know if she had mechanical ability. I didn't know how other one year olds fared at the blocks so I really didn't know. At two she was outside playing. One of my helpers PJ was working on the car and had a tool box opened and tools scattered everywhere. Emily walked by. She looked and smiled. She had a grin from ear to ear. She watched PJ and then just naturally began to hand him tools. PJ would say not that one but this one and such. She seemed to follow his instructions and worked with him a while ten minutes or so. I got excited!! Could she be born to build? I still didn't know and wanted signs of further proof.

Yesterday Kim who is my wife and I went to a movie. We dropped the kids off at grandma's. When I came home I found Emily in the middle of the room building towers and such out of lego blocks. Grandma kept my brother and laws lego blocks from when he was a kid. I asked grandma "How long has she been at this? Grandma said about half an hour. I had a huge grin on my face from ear to ear. I went to the floor and began to play with the lego's and Emily. We played for a full hour more just building one thing after another. All of the other reletives stared at us and watched in amaizement. I would ask every so often. Has anyone seen a two year old hold there attention at anything like this for so long? Everyone said no. Kim said that normally Emily can't sit still for 5 minutes. She played with the lego's for a full hour and a half before Kim anounced it was time to go home. Kim had to pull a kicking and screaming Emily away from the blocks. Grandma offered to let us take the lego's home with us.

Yes my daughter is born to build!!!! I'm real excited about the future projects the two of us will work on together. I have to ask, Is this funky? Can I teach her to work on engines and plumbing and stuff? Can I train her for the trades? Or will that turn her into a strange oddity. I'm all mixed up. I love her and want whats best for her. I guess she can be a girl and turn a wrench, right?!?

What should I do?

John Ruhnke
JR@ComfortableHeat.com

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ScottMP

John

I have two boys who are just the way your girls are, one love's to read and the other wants to build a dog house. My youngest would shovel the back porch of when he was three. He cut the lawn ( with Dad watching ) when he was five. You should see him steer my sailboat . I keep showing his older brother, but its harder for him.

I would say show the both all you can and they will let you know what their interest are. The older daughter will let you if she really cares how the boiler heats the house. I show both my boys as much as I can and its amazing what sinks in. You think they really are not paying attention and three months later they'll tell you about it.

Even if your oldest dos'nt care, at some point some information will help her in another way.

I hope you daughter is a builder but I think what ever happens she'll be your helper

Scott

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Jim Snabb

You should...

make sure that you let her do whatever she wants to do. When she is a little older, explain to her that nothing a girl can't do that a boy can and vise versa. And why can't she be an HVAC pro and be a sewing and fabric designer as well??? We as a people in this country need to continue to try to remove all the male/female job descriptions. Jobs and hobbies should be gender neutral.

Kevin O. Pulver

Another view John

My viewpoint is a little different than Jim's
I don't believe we should continue to erase the traditional gender roles and make everything gender neutral. Neither do I believe there is anything wrong with your girl loving tools and blocks and building. But ultimately she is a female and females ARE different than men. They're built differently and think differently.
They can do many or all things that men can, lots of them better, but that doesn't mean they are created to DO those things. My wife is at least as smart or smarter than I am, and has a business degree, but we've both come to believe her primary role is not to be a career woman, but to be a help-meet to me, and a full time teacher and mother to her children. She can drive a truck, chop wood, go hunting with our son, (not to mention heat-loss calcs, circ-sizing and system design) but she's a WOMAN, and her primary role is in the home, not hung up trying to prove she can do what a man can do. I'm not coming against women who have to be in the work force for whatever reason. I'm just saying that women are mothers and nurterers by design, (breasts were originally for nursing babies, not RIDGID tool calenders). Therefore women will have a natural desire to be wives and mothers. And if they have children, it's better for them to raise their children than a daycare worker to raise them. Mine is admittedly a minority view. A book highly recommended by many women is called, "Created to be his help-meet" by Debi Pearl. You can find it at www.nogreaterjoy.org I believe. We have 3 daughters and 1 boy now, and the girls can hunt, build, work with Daddy, get dirty, climb trees, whatever they want. But ultimately they will be women, and women are not just men with attractive shapes. Women aren't designed by their Creator to be soldiers or many things that they CAN and are doing.
I may take heat for this, but the majority is often wrong. Kevin

Anna Conda

Hiya. Thirty-something years ago, I was your daughter (well, not *yours...* *LOL*) Been a Building Operator A for more than a few years now.

Screw the gender lines. My Daddy did. I had the grandest time doing model rocketry and playing with the little steam-powered toys he had. They used this tiny little chippet of fuel, looked like a Zip cube. Used an eyedropper to fill the tiny boiler with water, light the fire and those little engines put out enough power to zip the little trains and cars around the kitchen floor for the cats to chase *LOL* Did my first oil change when I was eight. Don't remember ever *not* knowing what a snake was for. Told my Dad I got my Boiler & Building Operator A ticket, was he ever proud.

Strength? Well, I can lift fifty, sixty pounds alright, just don't ask me to press it over my head *LOL* Maybe I can't crack that old rusted-up 2" union, but I can turn a 1/4" nut just as tight as you please without breaking it and I can change out a toilet just fine, looks a little funny carrying it on my thighs but big deal. And that old rusted-up 2" union, well maybe the chap's having some tough time too, by himself, but with the two of us, hey there it goes. There's always something she can do. Even a little bit of help is more than was had a minute ago.

Just focus on where her head is at. If she gets engine grease on her new dress, oh well, dresses can be replaced but self-confidence can't. Sure she might face some prejudice growing up but you know what, I never even registered that I was the only girl in the model rocketry classes *LOL* Tomboy? Ah, screw the labels. I like velvet dresses on my days off *LOL* but if my car breaks down I don't think twice about mucking them up, hey everything I own is washable *LOL*

Have fun with your daughter.

Jim_65

It just goes to show you "To each their own". If we were all the same wouldn't that be boring? Some feminists may take offense to some comments and some would not.

singh

proud papa

My wife took these pics a couple of weeks ago.
My daughter plays with her own train set,toy trucks and has a set of wooden tools.
She's pretty good at putting puzzles piecies toghether too!
can't wait till she's old enough to clean out the work truck on weekends

singh

proud papa

My wife took these pics a couple of weeks ago.
My daughter plays with her own train set,toy trucks and has a set of wooden tools.
She's pretty good at putting puzzles piecies toghether too!
can't wait till she's old enough to clean out the work truck on weekends

Brad White_9

You are blessed, John

Blessed in that Emily has found joy and bliss in whatever form it takes. (Most) all of the advice I concur with. Especially ME's take on life. Let her do what she wants to do. Let her follow her bliss. Encourage her, love her and watch with amazement. Nothing odd about her, not at all.

There are worse problems to have (not that you were complaining, you certainly were not!)

I swore if I ever had a daughter she would be schooled in the practical arts. Fix a flat, a broken window. A broken heart. Be independent yet not afraid to ask of help nor offer help.

Yes, you are blessed.

Jim Pompetti

One day she will be able to build you many happy grandchildren. Both boys and girls bring with them many gifts. Take them all.They grow up once.be there and love them.

Kevin O. Pulver

That's my point exactly, Jim

I celebrate the fact that we're not all the same. And thank God men and women are not the same! You can use a crescent wrench for a hammer, but that's not it's purpose.
You can use a screwdriver for a punch or prybar, but that's not what it's designed for. Women can do most anything men can, but they are definitely designed and wired differently. They have a wonderful, specific purpose. I would tell my daughter to learn how to do everything she can, but not to neglect learning the more "feminine" things also, because one day her natural nurturing desires will blossom and she'd better be ready.
I don't have a problem with boys learning to sew, clean, cook, or whatever either. But their primary job will be to lead,provide, and protect their family. Kevin